Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Watching the Train Wreck...

My last girlfriend and I broke up last June. We had a good short run in the beginning (August to December), but from January to June, the relationship had turned so shitty and mentally/verbally abusive towards me that, once the breakup happened, I never looked back.

Curses on you, Facebook, for allowing this crazy ex of mine a venue to subtly inform me she's dating again. I've been preparing myself for this inevitability and what has come up for me is that I don't care, but I guess that's not entirely true because, thinking about it, I felt that I seriously would feel bad for anyone getting involved with my ex because she's super crazy and immature.

Now, I am an emotionally weird person. I have, right hand to God, no desire whatsoever to be involved with E again, yet part of me is slightly jealous or something? I don't get it. Anyway, I was curious and checked out this new girl and she's so damn cute. I am not jealous of the cuteness because I don't give a flip about who E dates, but it does make me feel sorrier for this nice-seeming girl. She has no idea what she's getting involved with.

This is the second time I have really, really wanted to warn someone I didn't know that they might want to think twice about their involvement with a totally crazy person. However, there is no way to go about this that would seem sane, that wouldn't get me in trouble with the crazy, and probably very little likelihood that the person I was trying to tip off would listen to me anyway. It feels like wanting to yell at somebody in a movie, "No, girl.. don't do it! Nononono...aaaaagh, no.."

So, again, I feel helpless, like I know there's going to be a messy train wreck and I just have to stand by and let it happen..

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