Sunday, December 05, 2004

Learn From My Mistakes

I like the idea of having separate categories for filing posts under. I may add such a feature in the near future, if I can come up with a list. Anyway, I have an idea for a new category, which I call "Learn From My Mistakes". Considering how hell-bent I am on ignoring advice and doing everything the wrong way first, this should be a busy category.

This first entry is going to be a party entry. You see, I have a long-standing relationship with marijuana, so Mary Jane and I have gotten to know each other very well. I have learned when and when not to smoke. I am not going to get into lecture mode or go into detail about all of these. Instead, I would like to talk about something very important when it comes to marijuana.

OMG.. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT smoke pot when you are drunk. I have yet to meet anyone who is strong enough to avoid getting pummeled by such a combination. Smoking before drinking seems to be fine, but once you become intoxicated, forget it unless you enjoy intense room spinning and and intermittent, uncontrollable hurking. The rest of the time, you're lying on the bathroom floor thinking death is better than this. If this is your idea of a good time, then by all means, be my guest.

Never trust your judgement while inebriated. You may think you're hardly drunk and can handle getting high, you may even forget that smoking weed while drunk is a seriously bad idea. Whatever the case may be, take my experienced advice and don't do it. Last night, after forgetting I shouldn't smoke while that drunk, I spent what felt like days trapped in an unending hell. I hardly had anything in my stomach, but my body so did not care. All I wanted was to fall asleep so it would end, but I was cold on the tile floor and yet unable to stand up and walk to bed without throwing up again. The one time I made it, I only got to savor the warmth for a couple minutes before I started gagging again and had to run to the bathroom. When I say it's not pretty, it really isn't.

You can ask Mikey, he'll back me up. He was drunk one night at my house, but told me he wasn't. I could tell he kinda was, but stupidly took him at his drunken word and acquiesced when he asked to smoke a bowl. If I'd known just how drunk he was, I could have prevented the tragedy that followed; he ended up sick as a dog, puked, and had to crash on my couch.

Thankfully, this hasn't happened very frequently to me, as I early on decided to stay far away from such a combination. It's a little odd to me that being baked beforehand seems to be fine; I have been pleasantly stoned and drunk at parties before with no ill effects other than normal hangover-edness. I don't know what it is when you're drunk and then smoke, but it seems to majorly increase the room spinning effect, which, when really bad, is generally what makes me puke on alcohol alone. You might say to yourself that marijuana is an anti-emetic, and that I'm full of crap. I really don't know what it is, but again I beg you to trust me when it comes to this. Learn from my pain and suffering, lest it be for naught.

Currently Playing...
Song: Dar Williams - Mortal City
Book: Horseman on the Roof by Jean Giono
Obsessing Over: iPods! Help me get one free by clicking here -- then get one yourself!
(I'm getting closer! Three more completed offers needed.)

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