Thursday, October 14, 2004

Trials and Tribulations

Well, the other day, I was taking pictures of something stupid in my apartment. I started taking photos, got my shot of 'Kerry sign anywhere in Parkersburg' and some fall foliage. Because the leaves are really beginning to change, I was so excited at the prospect of catching it in photos.

So let me tell you what I, in my infinite wisdom, did. As I said, I was taking stupid pictures of a sticker and set my camera on the arm of my chair for what reason I cannot recall. At the time, I thought to myself, Self, that really isn't a good idea. The camera is sort of balancing on the arm. It could teeter off and fall to the floor.

Did I listen to myself? Of course not! Listening to yourself is for pussies! Consequently my camera tumbled two feet to the floor, landing directly on the lens. The damage is such that the entire lens mechanism is FUBAR; it will not focus, zoom, retract, nothin'. My camera is dead.

I'm pissed, mostly at myself for knowing it was stupid and doing it anyway. The camera is somewhat outdated, and for the cost of repair, I could likely get a new one. So repairing it seems kind of pointless.

Now, my birthday is in a little over a month. My mom has been inquiring as to what I would most like for my birthday. The first thing I thought of was a CD/MP3 player for my car, but she actually suggested an iPod! Before getting too excited about it, I made it clear that those things are costy, mainly because I didn't figure she wanted to drop that much on a birthday present. She then suggested that I could get an iPod as a combination birthday and Christmas present.

w00t, quoth I. I have done my best to get people to do the free iPod thinger, but so far it's been non-productive. Of course what I want most is an iPod, likely because it's way out of my financial range. And let me just say a Huzzah to mid-November birthdays. I have definitely benefited from combined presents in the past, often much-coveted pieces of electronic gadgetry.

Anyhoo.. now I am so severely torn, due to the sudden, tragic loss of my beloved camera. The thing was hulking, slow, and occasionally frustrating, but damn it, I used it all the time, and I slowly learned to love its quirks, like those of a wayward child. All this ripped from me in one fateful instant! Cruel God, oh. I shake my fist at you.

This is the cruelest game of battling desires. In all actuality, I know that I will opt for getting a digital camera and continuing my iPod dream for a while longer. The fact of the matter is, I did use the camera all the time and it would definitely be missed. If I have to pick one of two things I can't afford myself, I will be practical and choose the one that I will get the most use and enjoyment from. After all, I've never had an iPod, and even though I know I'd probably use it all the time if I had it, if I didn't get it, I wouldn't know what I was missing. I've had a digital camera and I know just how it will hurt to not have it.

By the way, I just have to take a moment to give some props to my mom. She can be a very stubborn, frustrating person, but at times she does things that make me stop and want to cry, they're just so damn frippin' cool. Like the time she not only sent me and my first girlfriend to Vegas for my 21st birthday, but had champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries, balloons, and a birthday card sent up to my room. Or the time she tried and tried to smoke pot with me on New Years. Yeah, my mom has moments of brilliant, extreme coolness.

Something has touched me about my mom's iPod suggestion, when I think about you, I touch myself.. eh, sorry. Something about how she totally knew without my saying anything, that that's what I would want most. She even mentioned she knows how much I love music. And I know that's not a momentous thing or anything, but you have to understand that my mom and I have not always had the best relationship, and only now are we becoming able to coexist in the same physical place with a minimum of bloodshed and maiming.

My mom and I are opposites in a lot of ways. I might get into it at a later date, but let's just say that neither of us understands the other very well. Or we sort of do, but can't seem to fit it within our respective paradigms. One thing my mom has historically refused to accept is that I'm gay. In any case, I can't say I feel she pays much attention to the details of my life besides the updates on school, my weight, and work.

I used to demand a lot from my mom and so as I've grown up some, I've been trying to really be self-reliant and try not to burden her anymore. This arrangement is okay with me, but I guess it just surprised me pleasantly when she made her observation.

Anyway, I wrote her about the broken camera conundrum and she offered to send me $200 for whichever I want, and then another $100 at Christmas to go toward whichever I didn't choose. I think I can get a decent 3MP camera on eBay for about $150, maybe one that isn't as clunky. And then I will just save to get a portable MP3 player, but it won't be an iPod. I scoped them out on eBay and other brands are less, which makes me again curse Apple for jacking prices just for the Apple name. Apple, I bite my thumb at you!

Currently Playing...
Song: P.E.I. Bonewits & Friends - The Wizard
Book: Man Crazy by Joyce Carol Oates
Obsessing Over: iPods! Help me get one free by clicking here -- then get one yourself!

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