Sunday, June 27, 2004

Catwoman vs. Halle Berry

Okay, so I just don't get the whole Halle Berry thing. I mean, I guess she's an okay-looking woman, with mediocre enough acting skills. But I simply don't understand why everyone seems to think she's all that and then some. And the fact that out of all the beautiful, sexy, talented women on this planet, they picked Halle Berry to be Catwoman?

As Mike Tyson might say, it'th thimply ludicrith.

Why could they not have made this Catwoman movie back when the Batman movies came out? Michelle Pfeiffer was an amazingly sexy Catwoman. Of course, besides being gorgeous, Michelle can actually act, so that could be part of it.

I dunno.. I can think of a wide variety of women that would have been a better pick than Halle Berry. Come on, people.. I can't be the only one to notice her face looks funny.

Today is day 8 of the no-smoking thing, and I still haven't had a cigarette. I did, however, crack and buy a cheapie cigar at 7-11. I don't consider this cheating, as I "didn't inhale". Haha.. no, really, I didn't. I just kind of puffed on it and got to taste the good and bad tastes related to smoking.

The past couple of days have been kind of bad as far as my feeling like I want to cave. Originally, it was relatively easy to dismiss my cravings because you can't cheat with yourself, and what is the point of it, anyway? But now, I dunno.. I've been feeling pretty shitty about my weight lately and it's sort of brought me into a depression.

My low mood makes me want to do nothing but waste time, and use cigarettes as a crutch. It makes me question whether I want to quit, even though in my saner moments I know that I am committed to it.

Since meeting Angie, I have gained around 10 pounds, possibly more. I know 10 pounds is not a big deal on the grand scale of things, and frankly I don't care what number I weigh, but it is a significant amount in terms of how I feel. The way my clothes fit, or don't fit. I've been afraid to weigh myself because I fear the number I've put back on exceeds my worst expectations.

I just feel big. I know I'm bigger, and it makes me feel so self-conscious, even though I have been at this weight before and felt relatively good about it. I know that I would feel better if I started watching what I ate and exercising, but for whatever reason, when food is concerned, I find myself unable to say no.

When I was losing weight, it was because I didn't eat very much. My stomach shrunk and while I generally ate whatever I wanted, it wasn't very much. I think I probably worked more, too, back then before I got really bitter. Running around and being around food all day turned me off to it. Food wasn't a big deal to me anymore, and I said no to things I didn't want.

Anyway. Presently, it's really sad to say, but I don't even want to leave the house, I feel so fat. So I'm trying to get over that, too. Heh. I'm brooding, and trying to come up with a plan for something I'm not very good at -- self-discipline.


Currently Playing...
Song: Simple Plan - I'd Do Anything
Book: Chang & Eng by Darin Strauss

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