Thursday, April 22, 2004


I'm sick yet again, right on time for the weekend trip to D.C. I'm hoping it gets no worse because I feel like a total space case at the moment. Anyhow, I was cleaning out my mailbox and came across a couple pictures Mikey sent me before he moved.

How could you not love this face?

He's going to kill me for posting that. Muahahahaaa. He looks demented, doesn't he?

I miss my gay boyfriend. He makes me laugh and I can be outrageously stupid with him, which simply satisfies some inherent need for goofiness. I'll have to definitely schedule some Mikey time in the near future. I need me a fix.

The redneck neighbors have begun a garden project behind the apartment building, in the fenced-in plot that previously housed my landlord's berry patch. I guess at 80-something, after a fall that laid him up, he decided to finally retire from the berry business.

When you think 'garden', you probably think nice, flowery thoughts about vegetables and stuff. Well, don't confuse that with a West Virginian Real Man's Garden™. This garden isn't being planted, it's being constructed. Engineered, even. I swear I heard one of the guys say he'd be damned if anyone let a woman into the garden. Cause this is a MAN'S garden. And then they started hooting over the proposed kegger afterwards.

I briefly thought that it might be nice to have a piece of the garden, but then I realized that that would require working with the rednecks. But, you know, it looks nice so far. Besides, my extra X chromosome might taint the vegetables.

Currently Playing...
Song: Stabbing Westward - I Remember

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Fun Little Linkety-Link

Submit a picture and find out which celebrity you look like

Currently Playing...
Song: Sheryl Crow - [Album] C'mon C'mon

Feh, I Say

It's that time of month yet again -- PMS has crept up from behind, pounced, and I'm currently being beaten into submission. I don't know what it is, but I feel even more tired, worn down, depressed, and sensitive than usual. I don't know if the feeling worn down has to do with my feeling like I'm getting sick, or whether that is because I'm feeling run down. All I know is that my throat started hurting before I went to bed last night, and it stuck with me all night, making it really difficult to sleep. That and the fear that creepy bugs might drop off the ceiling and fall into bed at any point during the night.

Angie has a creepy bug problem in her bedroom. She mentioned that she thinks that it's due to the roof leaking in that part of the house, and that there's probably a huge infestation of these bugs loving it in the dark, damp attic. I don't exactly know what kind of bugs they are; they're what we used to call pincher bugs when I was a kid, but I think they're otherwise known as earwigs. They're gross and creepy in any case, and Angie's suspicion is that they're coming out of the heating/cooling vent in the ceiling, since they keep appearing on the ceiling directly over the bed.

And yes, twice now has she woken up to find one crawling on her, so you can imagine the multitude of false itches and various insect-falling-on-me-while-I'm-sleeping fantasies that kept me from actually dozing off. Plus, as I mentioned, my throat hurt, and the room, and subsequently I, were hot due to the warm weather, so I couldn't seem to get or stay comfortable in any one position. I tossed and turned until I fell asleep and then basically woke up every hour or two and had to go through the whole process again.

Needless to say, I feel tired. And sick. And emotional. And needy. And just irked in general. I know I'm probably not pleasant to be around like this, and I suspect that I'm more than my normal amount of snarky and touchy. I don't know why this is. Whether I'm noticing it more, whether it's a result of some things, or whether the things I'm taking negatively are being distorted in my perception.

I talked to her about it, and while I felt a little better last night, I still just have this gut bad feeling that I can't shake. I'm kind of confused because I find that usually I should trust my gut, but that goes against what Angie is saying to me. I kind of feel like I'm freaking out a little and I think the solution to that will be a couple days alone. I need space. I need time to think, to calm down, to back up a little. It feels a little insane in my head and I have to take a breather to get shit back in order.

Angie and I are supposed to go to this march in D.C. this coming weekend, and frankly, in my current state, I'm a little apprehensive. I mean, I'm praying that the being-all-over-the-place phase of PMS with have passed by Saturday, so that we can have the fun weekend we've been planning. Subjecting her to this all weekend would not be enjoyable for either of us.

I want to write more about my feelings, but I'll have to put that in my paper journal. Meanwhile, send me hugs and lots of Prozac.

I have to say, though, that I had the best pizza yesterday (and leftovers today). I've been absolutely craving tomatoes and basil for the past month or so, and what I really wanted was what the Italians call a margherita pizza.. cheese, lots of tomatoes, and lots of fresh basil. I'd wanted to get one from work but never did because I didn't want the line guys yelling at me for requesting basil (something we normally don't offer on pizza). I was going to make one with ingredients from Wal-Mart, but then decided that it would be less work and about the same price if I ordered it to go from work.

I can't even describe how good it was.. it's been a while since I craved anything, and I was so happy it was just as good as I'd been imagining. Yum.

Currently Playing...
Song: Veruca Salt - Seether
Obsessing Over: Untangling my knots

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Liberal Radio

I found Air America Radio today, which promises to suck up vast amounts of my time in the future. The list of celebrity and comic hosts is impressive, and the commercials are actually worth listening to.

I recently joined a random Yahoo group, when I became curious after I noticed someone linked to my site there. It's a group of friends, as opposed to a themed group, and it's been pretty cool so far. Someone posted a link to Air America Radio there, so I am passin' it on.

Currently Playing...
Song: Not a song, but listening to the Randi Rhodes Show

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

How Well Do You Know Me?

See if you've been paying attention and take this here quiz.

Currently Playing...
Song: Phish - Wading in the Velvet Sea

Friday, April 09, 2004

The Weekly Update

I guess I'm kind of grateful the weeks are going by so fast. I'm always in such a hurry to get through everything so I can get on to the next thing. Like I really wish I had a 'fast-forward' option for my life. (that and a 'save game' function.) I'm not so good about living in the moment.. I hate the drudgery of details and having to slowly work my way from one thing to the next.

I like ideas. I find that I often like the idea of something better than the actual thing, so I'm always impatient to get onto the next. I like the idea of being in school and of being a student, I just want to have my degree already. I find the pace to be slow and I'm impatient to finish already. I hate Parkersburg and am so totally jealous that Mikey gets to live in Columbus. I want out of this state!

The thing is, I can't move to Columbus. I have a plan and am finally on track with my life. As I told my mom, this plan is non-negotiable. I've fucked around too long and I just cannot continue to live my life as a waitress barely scraping by. I hate this shit, and frankly, I'm too old for it. I want a real job with real money and real challenges. I want to learn things and use my brain. I want to associate with relatively intelligent people. I want tolerance and open minds.

Even if it means an 8 am Intermediate Algebra class this summer. Blehhhhh. You have no idea how horrendous THAT is going to be for me; I'm not sure I can even fall asleep early enough to not be a sleep-deprived zombie for the term. But then I have to force myself to really look into my goal and realize how much I want it. I know it's worth the dedication and sacrifices (and no, I don't mean having to get up at the asscrack of dawn). And I'm extremely determined; when I want something, I get it.

I'm just impatient. I hate the process, I just want to be there already, damn it.

I have until the end of December, then I will be moving, fleeing, from Parkersburg. I don't know how much better Morgantown will be, but I can't even tell you how totally excited I am to finally be attending university. I think the campus atmosphere alone will be worlds better.

And then on the other hand, Angie is here, and my time with her has been wonderful. We've been spending quite a bit of time together -- the 11th will be a month -- and she's definitely making Pburg more tolerable. She makes me feel happy and cared about, which is really nice. I've been kind of unsure as to how much I want to post about it here, since I know she'll eventually read it, so I tend to just put off posting because I don't know what to say.

So, yeah, call me shy.

Currently Playing...
Song: Reel Big Fish - I Hate You Fuck You Leave Me Alone

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Who, Me?

Currently Playing...
Song: Dixie Chicks - You Were Mine

Saturday, April 03, 2004

Slackety-Slack, Don't Come Back

I have been beeeezy. I cannot believe it's been a week since I last posted. Sorry, guys. I've become one of those bloggers who suddenly gets a life and consequently the blog turns into a wasteland, complete with rolling tumbleweeds and the sound of the wind whistling through the emptiness.

I helped Mikey move up to Columbus yesterday, and while I dread the whole moving thing -- I personally have moved far more in my lifetime than any one person should -- it was actually far easier than I'd expected. For one, he was actually ready to go when I got there, and all that was left to do was put a few boxes in my car and get his mattress and box spring on top of my car.

My regular readers know I drive a really hot, super-sexy car; a '93 Subaru Legacy Wagon. It's alternately 'The Grocery-Getter' and ' The Mom-Mobile', and what a chick magnet, I tell ya. I am not knocking my baby, however much I might poke fun at it, because this car has been so good to me. And until you actually own a station wagon, you probably don't realize just how handy they can be.

Mikey was convinced that he could put his full-size mattress and box spring inside my car, but I knew there was no way. I mean, yeah, the wagon part is relatively spacious, but from past experience of cramming an assload of crap into the back of my car, I knew no bed was going to fit in there. I have a ski rack on top, so it took some work, but I finally convinced him that the best plan would be to simply lash his bed to that.

I was left to my dykely devices as far as my plans for that, which included large sheets of plastic (I personally thanked God for the rain on moving day), duct tape, and rope. He wouldn't even go to Homo Depot with me, but whatever. Tarps were kind of expensive, so I ended up buying a couple big rolls of plastic drop cloths, instead. Despite my purchase of the cheapest duct tape that I later regretted because it wouldn't stick to the plastic, I got some nice, pretty rope for him that I get to keep. Whee!

I admit here that I was slightly apprehensive about this whole thing, because usually when I do something like what I was intending, I have someone more knowledgeable to back me up, check my work, or make suggestions. This time, I was completely on my own and I knew that if something bad happened, like losing the bed on the highway at 60 mph, it would be entirely my fault. He was totally freaking out while I was trying to work, making it even harder to concentrate on the task at hand, and consequently making me even more afraid than I already was. I had to pretend like it was No Big Thang and that I had it all under control, so I was forced to send him inside a few times to smoke a cigarette and leave me alone to think and do my thing.

Part of the problem is that my ski rack only covers about 3/4 of my roof, so I was a little concerned about the front half of the bed lifting up while I was driving. I ended up running rope through the front of the car, through the passenger and driver side windows. I almost brought my digital camera, and I wish I had. I should have gotten a picture of my car when I finished, it was so classy.

The drop cloths were black plastic, more than slightly reminiscent of trash bags, and wrapped around with lots of silver duct tape. Super-classy, let me tell you. The rope I bought at Homo Depot was 1000 feet, and I did get it all tied down, but I knew I would feel better if we had one more length of rope to finish the job. I felt like the box spring was very secure, but I was afraid I'd used too much rope on that, on the bottom, and that the mattress on top was needing a bit more lashing down.

So we got all packed up and the bed tied on, and ran to get a quick dinner before stopping by K-Mart for more rope. I finished the job in about five minutes, with the last length of rope. I was still a little afraid of my skills in the lashing-down department, even though I've seen enough people do it, as well as my rope/knot experience through my years of sailing and horseback riding. It's just been a while, and I've never had to take full responsibility for this sort of thing. So I was extremely nervous.

I was worrying for nothing, because that bitch was a masterpiece of dykely engineering! The bed didn't move one bit during the entire drive (even at speeds above 65.. fucking Mikey taking off like a bat out of hell right outside Columbus, causing me to lose him in the traffic), the ropes held, and the mattress/box spring and my car arrived intact. Not only that, but getting it untied was also quite easy.

When I started wrapping the bed in plastic, Mikey stood back and said, "See, this is why people need lesbians in their lives.. I have no idea where to start. You just do your thing."

At least I can tell people I strapped one on for Mikey now! Ha!

I'm extremely pleased with myself. And I feel like somebody owes me a stamp on my Dyke Card.

I met Mikey's new roommates, who are a lesbian couple, obviously quite unaware of what they've gotten themselves into. Hahahaha. Jen looks a bit like Lori Petty, and the other one is Mullet Queen from Hell. I mean, wow.. what a mullet. Curly red hair almost down to her butt, shaved sides, and business up front. They seem cool, and I'm so jealous because I got a glimpse of the area around where he's living, and I kept going, "Ooohhhh.. Trader Joes... Ooohhhh.. Chipotle... Ooohhh.. Borders.... Ooohhhhh.. Old Navy.... No fair.."

I've felt on the verge of a cold for the past few days, with symptoms of feeling run down, achy, sore lymph nodes, etc. and after working at OG in the morning, working in the cold drizzle to lash the bed on my car, driving two hours, yadda yadda, I was starting to not feel very well once we'd finished. And sitting in the den with the heat on really high and all of the smoke from their cigarettes made me feel even worse. I was supposed to stay the night, but I just couldn't. Not only did the heat and the smoke make me feel really ill, I felt weird about staying in a strange house.

So I drove home last night, and bid my gay boyfriend goodbye. Sniffle.

Currently Playing...
Song: Cornershop - Forty-five
Obsessing Over: Nothing, because obsessing would require more brain power than I possess at the moment.