Sunday, January 18, 2004

Okay, so I went out to the bar tonight with Mikey. 'The bar' is the new gay bar in town. And honey, let me tell you, it beats the pants off T.C. (the old bar). But anyway, I was feeling particularly good because I had a decent outfit to wear out, for once. I mean, at least in the summer, I can wear my nice t-shirts.

I made out over Christmas. I got not one, not two, but three cashmere sweaters. The first one was royal blue with a johnny collar, and frankly, it looked so good on me that my mom gave it to me! The second came the week before I was due to leave, when she gave me the black scoop v-neck one. And the third is a fuzzy black turtleneck.

So I was wearing my scoop-neck black cashmere sweater, tight stretch jeans (Steve and Barry's, $9), black pea coat (Steve and Barry's, $9), navy blue- and dark lime green-striped scarf.. I was looking pretty good. All I needed was my new pair of leather gloves (yeah, I got those gifted to me, too, by my Italian grandmother!) and I would have been completely sophisticated.

Mikey and I just kinda chilled at the bar for a bit, chit-chatted, people watched, all that. Not a lot was happening, and there didn't appear to be anyone worth talking to, for either of us. A couple people had tried to catch my eye, and then kind of out of nowhere, this cute, sort of boyish-looking woman standing at the bar next to me asked me, "I just had to know, do you always just sit there all prim and proper?"

For a second, I realized I probably did look pretty prim and proper, sitting there all quiet and holding my bag in my lap. Then I just kind of laughed and said that I didn't mean to look it. She then struck up a conversation with me where I got that she was really interested in me. She eventually walked away, and I turned back to Mikey to talk about what had just happened. Then, a few minutes later, she came back and handed me a folded-up napkin with her number on it.

I don't think I've ever been picked up before. Like... ever. So you can maybe indulge me here and let me gush a bit. Not only that, but she was obviously really attracted to me and wanted to go out with me more than anyone I have ever met. I don't say that in an egotistical way, it's more of a marvel to me. I used to be fat, and I used to be ignored a lot, so things like being attractive, being picked up, someone being really interested.. it's all new to me.

In any case, I'm going on a date with her next weekend. We chatted a bit more and we seem to have stuff in common, plus she seems to be a nice, normal person. She's also 40. I'm not sure what I think about that, but on the whole, I don't think I care, because she seems young enough in personality. She just has maturity, which I think I might as well give a shot in a relationship.

So anyway, I'm kind of freaked out, happy, and nervous all at the same time.

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