Thursday, October 16, 2003


I haven't much to talk about today.. I am going to drop my history class, as it's been ill-fated from the beginning, and I'm too afraid to take a test in it. Actually, there was a test today, but I just didn't go. I actually don't have to take history, but I'll likely wind up taking something similar to it, maybe Women's Studies or something, in the future.. satisfying my clusterly requirements.

I went to donate plasma and finally, the fourth time I tried, I started to get processed. Well, I say started because in addition to all the questions like "Any time since 1977, have you had sex with a man who has had sex with another man?" or "Have you ever been to [random African country]?", they now ask if you've spent any time in France prior to 1996.

Well, yeah, I have. I spent my senior year in France as an exchange student, in 1993-1994. Apparently a person can't even travel these days without fear of picking up some bizarre disease, like Mad Cow. I pointed out that if I had Mad Cow Disease, wouldn't it be obvious by now? The lady said that it usually doesn't appear until a person's in their 60's, that they think it's transmitted in blood and plasma, and therefore I am not able to donate. Actually, indefinitely deferred, because they apparently have very little idea about Mad Cow Disease, how to test for and treat it.. but once they figure it out, if it turns out that it can't be transmitted through plasma, I'm good to go.

But Jesus! I need that money so badly... I can't donate plasma because I spent a year in France? Nine years ago?? My god.

While cleaning up my apartment, I discovered an old, battered notebook. Inside, I have all sorts of writing -- poems, biographical stories -- mixed up with old math homework and women's history notes. Some of the creative writing is fairly depressing, but it does give me a totally different perspective, as far as how I felt just four years ago. It's quite different from how I feel today.

I thought I would make you all groan and squirm by posting some of my writing. Ha ha haaaaa..


I feel your hands
Wrapped warm around my heart
The thrilling sensation
Of my heart brimming
And spilling over
Too full of Love
For one person alone

How you live inside my head
As calming
As a midnight sea
Pulling my thoughts toward you
As surely
As the moon guides the tides

Your presence is as sweet
As an afternoon spent
In the cool shade
Beneath a tree
Its leaves whispering sighs
That echo what is unspoken
Within me.

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