Monday, October 06, 2003

Queer Eye for the Gay Girl


Well, I didn't get any 'before' pictures, because my makeover happened pretty spontaneously last Friday, after work. My roots were coming in bad from my punk-rock-red dye job, and I told Mikey that if he didn't dye my hair soon, I was going to do it myself.

So we decided to just do the makeover that day.. got all the stuff, got my eyebrows waxed on the spur of the moment, then went back to his apartment to work on my hair. He called his friend, Aaron, to come over and help. Aaron is practically an expert in the whole coloring/highlighting thing.

I had two gay boys working on me for something like 5 hours. You just imagine how different I must look, after all of that! I'm going to try to get some pictures, because you really ought to see how hot I look now. Muahahaaaaa.

My hair is 'intense golden brown' as a base, and then I have all sorts of varying blonde highlights. Add into that my marvelously girly eyebrows, and I'm something of a hot number, I gotta tell ya. In fact, one of the older women at work made the comment, "I'm kind of scared.. I mean, she just keeps getting girlier and girlier!" Somebody else agreed. Ha.

And then I made my debut at True Colors, the gay bar. Kit knew the makeover was coming, only she didn't know when. I'd called her on Friday afternoon, just after having my eyebrows waxed (and yes, it does make that much of a difference) to tell her that Mike and I had a surprise for her, and we wanted her to go out with us on Saturday night.

One of Kit's best friends was in from out of town, and Kit never called me back to say yes or no, so I wasn't expecting to see her. However, I walked into the bar, and I heard, "Alena!" -- looked, and there were Kit and Kay. I walked up to them and got thoroughly gushed over, particularly by Kay, who hasn't seen me in over a year. I imagine I do look quite different than the last time I saw her; my hair was still short enough to spike, and I was about 15 pounds heavier.

Kit and Kay went to sit down at a table, leaving me and Aaron standing at the bar waiting to get drinks. I was chatting with him, then accidentally bumped into the person standing next to me at the bar. As a reflex, I turned and apologized with a smile, and realized I'd bumped into a semi-scary pierced bull-dykey kind of woman. She did a small double take once she, too, saw who'd bumped into her, and then told me it was okay.

So as a test, I kind of smiled at her and turned back to the bar. Aaron picked just then to abandon me at the bar to go off searching for someone. The woman kind of nudged me to get my attention and said, "That's what you come here for, right?"

She was moderately drunk and I honestly had no idea what she was talking about, so I asked, "What?"

She replied, "You know, you come here to look at and get bumped into by gorgeous women," and then gave me a look.

My first response, mentally at least, was Ohmygod, did she just call me gorgeous? I think she did! Gorgeous! Oh my god! But then, you know, I came back to reality and realized she was hitting on me. Ha!

You see, hardly anyone ever, ever hits on me, so when it happens it's quite a novelty. And since I can't remember anyone ever calling me gorgeous, it was quite an ego stroke.

I ended up getting a drink finally and kind of mosied (moseyed?) away. I told everyone what had just happened, since I was still in a bit of shock, and Mikey high-fived me for the 'gorgeous' comment.

I also ran into Paul, Angie's friend, who was lurking in the shadows away from the crowd. I was peeking into the pool room, when all of a sudden I heard someone exclaim my name. It took me a moment to figure out where it was coming from, and from who, and then my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I saw Paul.

I said before that he's a really good guy, and he is. He remembered my name, for one, and he did seem genuinely happy to run into me again. I dragged him out of the dark to our table, and we chatted for a little bit. He and I exchanged email addresses since Angie'd given me the wrong one, and then he told me that Angie had gotten back with that ex of hers she'd been so depressed about the week before. Lesbian drama, I swan!

Anyhow, I really like Paul and he's such a total sweetheart. The rest of the night went well... Kay (who is straight and married, and occasionally can be very cutely naive) went to give a dollar to this awesome drag queen who does Tina Turner, and then apparently Tina grabbed Kay and pulled her onstage, where they danced. Kay kept saying, "We danced butt-to-butt!"

Once the bad drag shows (save the Tina acts) were over, we got to dance for a little bit before they closed the bar. I had run into some gay boy, whose name I'm not sure I even got, who was dancing by himself, so I danced with him for a bit. Then I saw this girl that someone had introduced me to months ago (and she blew me off, by the by) dancing by herself, so I took her arm and pulled her over to us, and the three of us danced. In fact, this girl had her butt in my crotch and was just having a good old time. I wasn't really sure of the etiquette of such things, like whether I should be polite and not grind against her ass, or to just return the favor. I still don't know, but as usual, I leaned toward the polite, reserved side of things.

Anyway, I had fun. And I'm really enjoying the new, girlier me. Even if deep inside I'm still half-girl-half-boy, I suppose it doesn't hurt to look hot.

I need to get some pictures!

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