Tuesday, September 30, 2003


I took this thinger today out of curiosity. The first one, the conscious self, is pretty damn accurate. The second one.. mostly accurate. For one, I don't usually finish the things I start. I'm not sure I'd describe myself as 'conforming', either.. if anything, I would say I'm adaptive. But I definitely do have a high libido!

Conscious self
Overall self
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Monday, September 29, 2003

The Week of Ridiculousness

If the past week had a title, it would certainly be The Week of Ridiculousness. On Thursday, I discovered that I have only been to half my history classes. You know how I said a few weeks ago that it felt like there was another class that no one was telling me about? Well, duh. There was.

On my class schedule, it lists the days for the history class as TR. In the colleges I've attended in California, TR is the abbreviation for Thursday. So if you have Tuesday/Thursday classes, it would be listed as TTR. I didn't even think about it because that's what I'm used to.

Last class, we started off again on some point I know he hadn't gone over the last time I was there.. and since I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right, I finally just sucked it up and asked another student. She was pretty shocked that I'd only been going half the time; so shocked that she told the teacher, but he apparently was quite amused by the whole thing, as he threw his head back and laughed heartily. I'm so glad my stupidity is so well-received and amusing.

So this student took pity on me and we went to the library to make copies of her Tuesday notes. I have to rewrite them and such, but I do realize now that I was very lucky to have been late to the test that one day, because if I'd had to take it, I probably would have scored really badly, considering I have missed half of the course.

So yeah, I can't get over how retarded I am. Someone once said to me that they couldn't believe someone as smart as I am could be so dumb sometimes. Truthfully, I don't know either.

I've been quite social with Mikey and Kit lately.. we've been going out every weekend. Last Saturday, I felt like dancing, so I hopped up and danced with Mike a fair bit. Everything was going well until he decided to dip me -- I told him no, but he did it anyway, and the bastard dropped me. Actually, it was pretty funny because I was expecting just that, so I landed on my ass well, and just burst out laughing. Even more amusing was I heard some people around us go, "Oh my god.." and "Oh no.."

Heh.. thanks, Mike, for dropping me on my ass in front of a packed bar. But at least I think I shrugged it off pretty gracefully. ;)

That night, I rescued a wounded lesbian from the bathroom. Her name is Angie and she's just absolutely adorable. Actually, she reminds me of Mandy, one of my best friends from high school. She's very sweet and has the best smile ever.. so I thought I should do something to cheer her up and get her out of the bathroom. See, she'd just broken up with her girlfriend, who was macking on some girls at the bar, so Angie was feeling a bit depressed and jealous to see the ex carrying on like that right in front of her.

I don't blame her, but I did tell her that chicks suck and really aren't worth it. I tried to get her to dance with me, but Angie is really shy and she told me she doesn't dance. So I ended up buying her a drink and hanging out chatting with her and her friend Paul, who is just such a cool guy. I got right away that Paul is a good person and even though he has sort of a rough-looking punk exterior, I knew immediately that he's a big softie inside, and that he really cares for Angie. So we all had a pretty decent conversation, and then exchanged numbers and email addresses.

She says she goes to True Colors every Saturday, so I'll likely see her again sometime. I have no idea what will come out of it, if anything, but it doesn't matter. I certainly will not turn down a friendship with a good person, and I don't think you can ever have too many friends.

Nancy, the Humanities director, made up some great fliers for me, for Delta Psi Omega, and I spent today going through the halls, tacking them up in places that got missed last week. I'm not sure who put them up last week, they hit some bulletin boards, but not others.. like they put up several in the secondary entrance, and none in the main entrance. It makes no sense, so I went around and put them everywhere. I still have absolutely no idea whether there will be any sort of a response, but as Kit said, all I can do is wait and see, and then try and figure out what I'm going to do from that point.

Lastly, I'm getting really sick of not having internet (and my regular PC) at home, so I'm really going to start selling plasma -- I know I've been talking about it for ages, but now I have a way to cash the checks, thanks to Kit. I'll probably start tomorrow after history class, since I have several hours to kill before psych class.

I still have to pay a $308 fine for my car.. so I'm going to have to sell my plasma to get that paid off.. there just is no other way I'll ever have that much money at one time. I just don't make enough money to save it up and pay all my bills. In fact, right now I rather feel like I'm drowning in bills, and I want that to stop.

So, yeah.. hell.. if I could get someone to buy some of my eggs, I'd be freakin' set!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

I Wanna Be a Cowboy, Baybee

All right.. let's see. Well, my slacker shame from last week is partly erased, as I'm proud to report that I got 100% on the two tests I did take last week, in math and psych. I can't remember the last time I got 100% on a math test, so I'm quite proud of myself, even though it is bonehead math. And I'm pleased with myself in the big difference in scores in psych, I had a low B on the last test and was irritated with myself because I knew I could have gotten a much better score if I'd just put in a bit more effort.

So, happiness about that. Plus, I might have gone insane, but can I say that math is kind of fun? I never enjoyed it before because it never made any sense, so it was frustrating. But now that I know how to do all these things, I actually kind of enjoy doing the problems, mostly because I know how to do them, and I get to test myself to see how well. So because I've been actually kind of enjoying math, I have fun doing my homework. I sat and did three different sections the other night, just because I wanted to play with the numbers and stuff. I never do homework at home because of all the distractions (like I have to read my psych chapters at the library), but I didn't have much problem, even doing all three sections at once.

My article came out in the school paper, and it's huge. It must take up 3/4 of the page it's on, and it cracks me up because I don't think the article is terribly long, but it sure does catch the eye when you get to that page. The editors left almost all of my content untouched, other than adding a colon in one place, and that sort of thing. What cheesed me is that they changed my title completely. The title I'd chosen was Improv Isn't Taken Seriously. It's kind of a joke, get it? I thought it was pretty clever, but ah well.

The question is how many people actually read the school paper. I honestly don't know. I haven't gotten any sort of email response from anyone interested in Delta Psi Omega, but maybe they're just waiting to go to the first meeting.

I also spoke to the theater classes this week. I was scheduled to speak this morning at 8am, and next Tuesday after my psych class. I came to school a bit early to talk to Nancy (the Humanities director) about what I planned for her classes, and she asked me if I was ready.

She'd gotten the classes mixed up, forgot that I wasn't scheduled to speak to the Tuesday class until next week, but I was ready and a bit eager to get it over with, rather than waiting till today, and then having to wait until next week. So we decided that I'd come in to that class once psych was over, and I was kind of glad I'd get a bit of a warmup for today.

I only had 45 minutes yesterday, and it simply was not enough time to get everyone warmed up enough. They were incredibly stiff and reluctant, and didn't seem like they enjoyed it as much as I'd hoped. I was realistic in expecting the stiffness and reluctance, but I'd had hopes that I could get them loosened up enough. On top of that, the one thing I didn't anticipate was having a heckler.

And I did have a heckler. His name was Mike, and he spent the entirety of my 45 minutes making smartass remarks and trying to remain cooler than everyone else because he refused to fully participate. It's too bad that's the one thing I didn't account for, having a smartass in the group. If I'd been prepared for it, I would have immediately had a handle on it and put him back in his place. After all, I am a smartass, and I can deal with other smartasses quite well.

But since I hadn't anticipated it, Mike continually threw me off-guard. And at the end of the class, I felt very drained and let down. I'd expended a ton of energy, extra energy to try to get everyone else's energy up, and had little to show for it. So I was really dreading this morning's class. Last night as I was trying to fall asleep (at like 4am, I might add), I kept thinking, I don't want to go tomorrow.. I don't want to do it again..

However, this morning's class was wonderful, though of course I knew that by going to bed at 4am (after a small soiree at my apartment), I would be late to the class. And of course I was late; I overslept by half an hour or so, and ended up booking ass to school. I was about 15 minutes late, but it ended up being okay because Nancy had had things to discuss with them in the classroom before moving to the theater.

Today's group was bigger and younger, in general, than yesterday's class, and at least half of them were more than willing, even excited, to volunteer to get on stage. Most of them were fairly comfortable once up there, so everything flowed so much better. They were way less stiff, moved much more comfortably, and even were able to include humor and such in their scenes. The scenes yesterday were fairly painful to watch.

I saw some definite prospects in this class, and encouraged them all to come to the meeting on the 7th, even just to check it out. Some people seemed interested, so maybe they'll actually come? I'm still worried there will be no interest whatsoever and I'll end up with a club of like three people. I'm not sure what the plan is, if that happens. But Nancy said she'd make up some posters, which should definitely help get the word out.

I've decided that I have no chance with Kate and that the whole thing is ridiculous, anyway (did I mention she's only 18?), so I'm giving up on that. I like hanging out with her, though, and we always have really good conversations. She's one of a few people I can talk about deeper subjects with, and plus she's a chick; I have way, way too many (young) guy friends here and I sometimes get really tired of the stupid shit they talk about. Occasionally, I need a girl to talk to.

I think it's time for a nap...

Thursday, September 18, 2003


It's a shame. Someone as smart as me, deep down a slacker. I was supposed to have the finale of all my tests today, the Western Civ test. Western Civ is the only morning class I have, and I have been very good about not going out on Wednesday nights, so that I get somewhat of a good night's sleep (or at least am not so tired I ignore the alarm).

By the way, I'm still about half asleep.

Well... I ended up hanging out with Rob yesterday. He brought over this armchair that he's been saying he's going to give me. The chair is awesome.. it couldn't be any more 70's, with its tan/brown/orange stripes and yellow background. Plus it's really comfortable, and I'm happy to have a good, comfortable chair to watch movies in.

Then after he dropped off the chair, I went out to OG to eat with him, his wife, and daughter. The meal was actually really good, even though I tend to be a bit disappointed in our entrees these days. I'd been craving the chicken marsala, and it totally didn't disappoint.

Then, when we were at OG, we ran into Chris. When it was determined that Chris was going over to Rob's later and bringing.. you guessed it, Kate.. I was sold. I'd been dying to ask her about the blips on the gaydar I'd been getting around her, and I figured that the more time we spent together, the more comfortable she'd feel being honest. And the less offended that I'd be ballsy enough to ask something like that.

So, yeah, I read the gaydar right. Only she refuses to label it anything, so won't say she's bi or anything like that. And while we had a bit of an odd conversation regarding labels and stuff, I came out pleased, with the knowledge that I did read her right. She all but said she was interested in me, and that's what I wanted to know if I was imagining it.

Anyway, I didn't get to bed until like 5am.. knowing I had my Western Civ test the next day (and that I hadn't studied for, I might add) at 11am. Well, I made a gallant try, anyway. I woke up about 35 minutes after I should have gotten up, threw on clothes, decided to forgo the coffee altogether to save time, rushed out the door, and booked ass to school.

All told I think I was only 7 minutes late, but the class was already doing their tests. I walked in and even though the teacher is normally a really nice guy, I could tell he was not pleased. He looked up at the clock and asked me if I had a death wish. I told him no, that I was very sorry.. that I'd overslept, that I'm not a morning person.. trying to keep it light and show him I didn't mean to be late.

The only other of his classes I was late to was the first one. And I think I had a fairly decent reason for that; besides, it was the first day of class, my first morning class, I had no idea how jammed the parking lot would be, where my classroom was, etc. Smart people might get there early to take those things into account, but yeah, well. I'm not a morning person.

Anyhow, I said in an earlier post that I missed 5 minutes of class, and yet somehow managed to miss half the lecture. I wasn't kidding.. I managed to miss all this important stuff, apparently. In some ways, I feel like I'm not attending all the classes (like there are some extra ones no one is telling me about). One of the things I missed, or didn't remember, is that for every minute you're late on a test day, he deducts 3 points. Of course, the only teacher I have to think up such an ingenious thing, he teaches mornings, and I'm late to the fucking test.

So then, after asking me if I have a death wish, he then said I probably should do the test as makeup (on final day), since three times however many minutes I was late would be bad. Aaargh. I got fairly embarrassed in front of the class, and felt kind of like an ass, just walking out instead of doing the test.

And the bad thing is that this first test is worth way less than the other tests; he's a smart guy and he gives his students a taste of what the tests will be like, so they know how to study. So the semi-freebie test, what I was counting on to help me study in the future... yeah, I get that one at the end of the semester. Fat lot of good that'll do for me.

I'm just a bit irritated at myself. I know I can do much better than this, but I'm too lazy to expend the effort all the time. Feh.

Monday, September 15, 2003

Free Crackwhore Porn, No Spyware

I have recently had some of the most random search engine searches referred somehow to my page. Earlier today, someone arrived at my site with the search of, you guessed it, 'free crackwhore porn no spyware'. I checked the search myself, and indeed, my site comes up as one of four sites. It's freaky.. I wonder who has been hiding free crackwhore porn on my site, and where I can get in on it.

That's a joke, kids. I have no free crackwhore porn.. but it sure sounds tantalizing, doesn't it?

I am pleased to announce that my improv article for the school paper is finally finished. I've been wracking my brain for weeks to figure out what the hell to say, and to get the right tone. Well, I polished it up earlier today and dropped it off at the Humanities office. Hopefully the director will like it.

I was pretty pleased to discover that I and Delta Psi Omega have our very own folder in the Humanities office, which means that the director, and anyone else, can pass notes to me using my folder. Yay!

So there are some dates looming now, regarding getting off my ass and actually getting my idea out there. The next Chronicle comes out on the 22nd (with my article in it, hopefully), I am speaking/giving demonstrations at two theater classes toward the end of the month (the 24th and the 30th), and October 7th is the first club meeting.

It's kind of strange that my idea, my club, is finally becoming real. I'm very excited, but I'm worried about various small details, like what happens if there's no interest and I end up with a club of three people or something. I'm not really sure what to expect, since this is my first semester at WVUP and I have no idea just how big theater is there. I'm hoping to get at least five people, but I guess we'll see.

My life has become fairly boring, I must admit. It's been pretty much all about school or work, and my social life sort of on the outskirts. I know I'm kind of slacking in psych, which irritates me, but not really enough to cause me to work harder. I have a test in it tomorrow, two chapters.. and I have no idea how I'll do. I certainly have not been putting forth enough energy in studying to ace the test, that's for sure.

Math is pretty much cake so far, and I have a test in that, also on two chapters, on Wed. I'm not going to bother studying much for that, since it's still fairly basic and I feel pretty confident about it. Kind of a shocker, knowing how much I suck at math.. but I feel like I'm learning different techniques that make it much easier.

As for my social life, I guess I actually kind of have one now. I have been hanging out with Rob quite a bit, since we usually just relax at his house, and maybe watch a movie. Evil Josh has a brother named Chris, who recently started working at OG with us, and I've also been hanging out with him lately. Then there's Mikey, my little gay friend who cracks me the hell up. And there's even Kit, which might be the biggest shock of all!

Kit called me Friday night to see if I wanted to go out, but all the front of the house people had a mandatory 8am meeting the next day. I ended up passing, though I did want to hang out with her, and then we ended up going out the next night, where we ran into Mikey and hung out with him a bit.

I will just mention that I got far too drunk, though I really don't think I had all that much to drink. It's the first time I've thrown up while living in my apartment. I was just gnarly sick and I knew I'd feel much better, both then and the next morning, if I puked. I ended up lying on the bathroom floor for a while, and then falling asleep, but I woke up suddenly and knew I must worship the porcelain god. It did make me feel better, though I felt fairly gross the next day.

My only current drama is this bizarre crush I have right now. It defies all logic, so I'm not even sure if you really call it a crush. But Chris has a girlfriend named Katie, and ever since I first met her, I got kind of a gaydar vibe off of her. I thought maybe I was just imagining it, like wishful thinking or something, so when Mikey hung out with us all, I asked him to keep his eye open and tell me what he thought.

The result of that was that he absolutely agreed there was some gaydar vibe there, and that Katie seems very into me. The thing is that Katie seems interested in me. We have conversations apart from the boys (mostly because they end up talking about boy things), where not only does she seem to be pretty smart and knowledgeable about a lot of things, she seems to hang on my every word, seems to want to know my thoughts and opinions about things.. basically, she seems very interested in me.

What I can't decide is whether that interest is simply admiration or something else completely platonic, or whether the attraction and gaydar vibes I get from her are true. I'm desperately trying to figure it out, and it really intrigues me.

For one, Katie is 18. That's young, and everyone is welcome to give me a hearty smack upside the head for even considering it. But what can I say? I dunno, I'm kind of interested back, even though not only is she young and drinks way too much, I'm not sure she's really my type. I just can't get past the entire intrigue part of it. The Scorpio in me wants to dig and peel back layers and figure out just what it is, and why.

It's not like I live my life logically... On one hand I keep kicking myself and saying all the reasons it's not a good idea, and then on the other, I'm like, Oh, Katie's going to be there? I want to go.

Anyway, knowing me, combined with my awful luck, nothing will come out of it. And that's why I'm calling it a crush. But it's a kind of diversion right now. :P

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Dude! Sweeeeeeet!

So, um, yeah. You will never guess what happened.. Jan called me yesterday. I had my mind on like four other things and I skipped the library so I could go get my hair cut.. and it was the one day when I wasn't hoping there'd be a message when I walked through the door. The one day I wasn't thinking about it, she called. Heh.. damn universe.

So yeah, we talked for a couple of hours, and there are a few elements that caused a semi-miscommunication. She did apparently send me a postcard like she said she would, only it never made its way to me. So we've each been silent for a month, she was thinking I was mad about something she'd written in the postcard, I was mad because I didn't know she'd sent it.

And then her package got there way later than it should have.. so that's why she hadn't called about that, why she didn't acknowledge it when I'd expected. She did get it and she loves it, so that makes me quite happy.

Things are still a little weird, but at least I feel relieved that it was just a miscommunication, and not some weird turn of events that I had to piece together with clues that didn't make any sense.

On a school note, I got my psych test back and my score was 84%. I am not happy with myself. I know it's a B, but it's a low B! And I'm way smarter than that.. this is not a difficult class, I should be getting A's on my tests. To make matters worse, I accidentally skipped a question, so instead of just getting three wrong, I got four wrong. I suppose I'd skipped the question, intending to go back to it.. but somehow, even after double-checking my answer sheet, I completely missed it. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

My friend Rob acquired a turtle from Josh. Apparently Josh was just driving down the road and happened to spot the turtle, so he stopped and got it. Josh is really, really evil to animals, so when he gets a new one, he always gives it to his pit bull, Shady. The fortunate thing is that Shady is the biggest chicken dog I've ever met (possibly due to all the abuse she suffers at Josh's hands), so not much ever tends to happen when the pit bull meets a random animal.

I guess Josh got bored with the turtle, since even the most vicious dog would have trouble messing with a turtle. He gave it to Rob for his daughter, Hannah. Well, I was over there the other night, and got to play with it some. Rob's cat (also rescued from Josh, and extremely traumatized in general) seems to love the turtle, even if she can't figure out what the hell it is. Smoky (the cat) just hangs out with the turtle.. I told Rob he got his cat a new companion.

Sometime during the evening, Rob got the bright idea to paint the turtle's shell. Now before anyone starts yelling at me for animal abuse, I believe turtles' shells are made of collagen, like our fingernails. So a bit of acrylic paint shouldn't be harmful. It's just sort of like putting a coat of plastic on the shell.. not a big deal.

We tossed around various ideas as to what to paint, finally settling on flames, like on a car. But then we discovered that Rob didn't have much of a paint selection, and no colors that could make orange, so we scrapped the idea of flames. We then decided to paint the turtle red with white racing stripes.

Once we got the first coat of red on, I commented to Rob that the turtle looked like a ladybug. He and I looked at each other and then burst out laughing. We then decided we'd turn the turtle into a big-ass ladybug.

We put a few coats of red on, until the shell was a bright, glossy red. Then we drew a line down the middle of the shell with black permanent marker, to mark the separation of the 'wings'. And then we painted on black spots, strategically placed on top of the turtle's shell bumps.

I must get pictures. I must find a way to post them here. Because it's one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen. He's a big-ass ladybug!

Turtle disgrace. Sissyfied!

I think that's about it for now, kids. Improv junk is coming up fast and I feel completely unprepared. I'm stumped on my article. Gargh.

Monday, September 08, 2003


Well, it feels like both a lot and a little have happened in the past week. I guess really not that much has happened, but now that I'm in school, time is just flying by. I actually prefer for time to go by quickly like this; when I blow through a month in what seems to be a couple week span, I'm pretty happy. I hate time, and I hate waiting and drudging through the mundane crap, so when time flies like that, it means it's gone too fast for me to get stuck down in the mire. If that makes any sense.

The shock of shocks last week was that Kit called me to go have a beer with her. I'd just gotten home from work, and was feeling a bit restless. I wanted to go out, but I couldn't get a hold of my friend Mike. Not two minutes after I'd hung up the phone after leaving Mike a message, it rang. I assumed Mike was screening his calls or something, so imagine my surprise when it wasn't Mike, but Kit instead.

She said she was bored and asked if I wanted to go have a beer with her. We went to True Colors and hung out until they closed; we spent most of our time sitting on the patio and chatting, though she did kick my ass three times at pool. She's way, way better than me, that's fo' sho'.

Anyhow, I had a pretty good time, and I'm hoping she did, too. I know that I've definitely changed since I moved out of her apartment and into my own place, but I really haven't had an opportunity to show her just how I've changed. One of her major complaints way back when was that all she and I ever talked about was Gemstone. I've recently come to realize that I am so totally apathetic and bored with the details about the game, and I don't even care about shit that goes on. Well, except for the personal dramas of the players, that sort of thing always interests me.

I think Kit and I had pretty decent conversations, and at least I finally got to talk about Jan to someone. And what surprised me about that is that Kit's opinions around the situation pretty much mirror my own, so at last I do feel a bit vindicated in feeling this way. At least I know it's not just me.

I haven't heard a word from Jan in a month. Not the postcard she said she'd send me from Prague, no checking in with me, not even an acknowledgement that she got the birthday present I sent her. At this point, I think it's a bit rude. I mean, I kind of knew in my heart of hearts that the birthday present would be my last effort. I sort of expected to get some sort of reaction from it, but I think I knew deep down that even that would result in nothing.

Therefore, I give up. I don't understand the situation, I don't understand how she feels, and I don't understand what she's doing. I would love some sort of closure, but at this point, I'm not even sure what I'd say if I did talk to her. Sooooo, I suppose the smartest thing to do at this point is to simply just give up and stop spending my time and energy being hurt and angry, and trying to figure out the whys and whats of the situation.

I know I made mistakes with her, but overall, I don't think I did anything wrong. I don't believe it's me. And it really sucks because she is so amazing, and makes me feel amazing. I thought that counted for something, I thought she felt that way, too. But I have no idea anymore, and instead of bruising my head against the same wall, I think I'm going to just finally give it up.

I also discovered the great irony of being a lesbian. It's true that it's easier to be straight, but when gay people say that, they're usually thinking in terms of social acceptance or a greater ease in finding a partner. My irony is not either of those, though they are true, it's that my life would be so much easier if I didn't have to deal with women and their endless mountains of bullshit. The drama, the emotions, the complexity, the never knowing what they want.

My life would be easier if I didn't find men so completely boring.. I mean, sure, there's male bullshit, too, but it's ever so much easier and less complex to figure out. Men are fairly straightforward, while women are just one big tangle of all sorts of different stuff. The irony of being a lesbian is that I'm stuck having to deal with women.

And I want to know why no women ever know what they want. I know I'm not the only one on the planet that does know what she wants, but at times, it feels that way. Freud's great question was 'What do women want?' -- and women are just so difficult and complicated that even a woman couldn't tell you the answer. Even women don't know what they want.

My relationship with Regan was my one huge romantic mistake. It's very true that I tend to have to learn things the hard way, and she was no exception. However, once I learn something the hard way, I'll be damned if I let it happen again. So even though I endured more than two years of constant manipulation and mind-fucking, I don't necessarily regret the experience. It's certainly showed me all the various red flags and things I absolutely will never put up with again.

I figure I'll likely be single forever. After all, I don't want the drama, I don't want the games. I'm straightforward and I know what I want. Seeing that there doesn't appear to be many other women with those qualities, I probably will end up just riding above all the relationship drama and bullshit. I'm not interested in that, I'm not interested in living an emotional rollercoaster because of someone else. I am what I am and who I am, and if that doesn't mesh with anyone else, oh well. Because one of my recent revelations is that not only am I my best friend, I am the only one who truly loves me.

I'm sure people like my family love me, but I am the only person who knows every inch of me; all my flaws and qualities, and still I accept myself for who I am. No matter what happens, I have love inside for myself. I am the only person I can rely on 100% of the time. I will be here, with myself, when no one else is. And I am not willing to change anymore, for someone else's requirements. If someone can't deal with me, if someone doesn't like me.. too bad.

Anyhow, stepping off my soapbox..

I got my math quiz back and got 9/10. Not bad, but I did make a really retarded mistake in one of the problems. Somehow I multiplied 2 and 6 and got 16. I have no idea where exactly my brain goes when I'm doing math, or where I come up with some of these numbers.. all I know is that I space out sometimes and manage to make really dumb mistakes. And for the record, I do know that 2x6=12. Thanks. ;)

I'll have the Psych quiz back tomorrow, and I'll see how I did on that. And then the whole improv club thing is moving along. I'm scheduled to go speak at two theater classes later this month, and involve the students in some demonstrations. That should be a lot of fun. And then I also am supposed to write an article for the school paper.. heh. I've been sitting on this for a week now, and I still have no idea what the hell I should write about. I do have a title in mind, though: Improv Is Not Taken Seriously. Ha ha, get it?

I think it's kind of funny that when I was growing up, I never was president of anything. Even if I'd had the guts to run for something, no one would have ever voted for me -- I was that unpopular. And now.. as I told Nancy (the head of the Humanities division), I get to be Supreme High Dictator. Muahahaaaaaa. I get to lead, get to teach, get to have my own group and oversee it as I like. It's just so awesome.

I think I'm a good leader, I just rarely get the opportunity. So as long as there's some sort of interest in my club, I think things will go very well. I'm just having trouble with some of the details, but that's not unusual for me. I just need to get myself and everything else organized and hopefully once all the pain-in-the-ass details are taken care of, the rest will be cake. I hope.

Anyway.. that's about it for now.. I have to go crunch some prime numbers and junk. Whee!

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Big Red

I finally went ahead and dyed my hair red. I've been wanting to do it for the longest time, but my hair was always too short for it to look good. It's been so long since I've been able to do anything with my hair that when Rob encouraged me to dye my hair dark red, I just went and did it.

The color on the box said 'Intense Dark Red'.. only the color didn't turn out 'dark'. It's more like 'intense red'. I can't even begin to describe the hue of my hair.. sometimes it does look dark-ish red, other times raspberry-colored, sometimes it looks fire red. All that can be said is that it's a crazy hair color. I look kind of punk, kind of alternative. I think I like it.

I've always enjoyed the shock value of things, and dyeing my hair outrageous colors has been one way to elicit a certain shock. It's been so long since I've dyed my hair that I've forgotten how much I enjoy reinventing myself that way. After all, I believe that little things like what color someone dyes their hair can say volumes about a person. Right now, mine says, Look at me, I'm different, I'm cool, and I don't care what you think. And I think that does sum up what I'm feeling.

You have to realize that I didn't intend to dye my hair an outrageous color. What I wanted was a nice, deep red.. maybe more brown than red. I ended up with something completely different -- I forgot that my hair tends to dye on the lightest shade possible for the hair color I'm using. If I'd remembered that, I'd have left the color on longer. In any case, I don't necessarily regret my forgetfulness, because I think my hair is a really cool shade. The only question is going to be whether Bill and/or Gary will permit me to keep it.

I went in to work yesterday to test the waters, and Steve was there. I knew Steve wouldn't give a damn about my hair color, so long as it wasn't something like blue or green or whatever. And it's true, he really didn't care. He told me he didn't see anything wrong with it, since it wasn't the first thing he noticed (and that amuses me, because it's such a radical change, I'm not sure how you could avoid noticing that first off) and that my complexion and freckles match the red hair, so it doesn't seem too out of place.

I knew Steve would be the easiest of the three managers to get it by.. but I'm definitely nervous to hear what Bill has to say. He's either going to love it, or he's going to hate it; and if he hates it, it's not going to be fun!

I had my first quizzes this week, in Psych and Math. All my tests in Psych will be multiple choice, which puts me at a distinct advantage, since I usually can do pretty well on multiple choice tests. Even if I don't know an answer, I'm able to narrow down the choices enough to make a fairly good guess.

So while I know I didn't prepare enough for the Psych test, I don't feel like I failed it. I just won't know until I get my score. And the math test was pretty simple, it was on the first chapter. I know how to do all the problems, the question is whether I spaced out at all and flubbed up some of the mathematical operations as I'm wont to do. So again, we'll see next week, when I get my scores.

I meet tomorrow with the head of the Humanities division about the improv/club dealie. I'm really looking forward to seeing how that pans out.

Oh, and one last thing.. I saw the film The Mighty and I highly recommend it. It's got Sharon Stone and some other famous actors in it, and it's just wonderfully done, both the story and cinematography. On the other hand, one film you should avoid like the plague is Snow Falling On Cedars which could be the slowest, most mind-numbing movie I have ever seen. Every five minutes or so, I'd roll my eyes and go, Is this movie ever going to be over? Boring, boring, boring.. even with Ethan Hawke.