Thursday, August 21, 2003

Wash Me, Please


I just finished school for the day, and on my way back into town, I got stuck behind this crap-ass jalopy of a van. On one of the dust-covered back windows, someone had written "WASH ME PLEASE". This got me thinking, and I had plenty of time to think, considering they were driving slow as hell.

Have you ever noticed that when someone writes "Wash Me" on the dust of a car, it never works? People will drive around with that on their cars until the rain makes it illegible. If you really want to get someone to wash their car, I have a few suggestions.

Instead of writing "Wash Me", since we know that doesn't work, how about some of the following?

"HONK IF YOU LIKE BUTT SEX"
"I LIKE GOATS!"
"HONK IF YOU'RE PERVERTED"
"I GIVE GREAT B.J.s!"

You get the picture. But don't you think that would accomplish the goal of the car's owner rushing to scrub the writing off much better than the standard "Wash Me"? I would bet money on it.

When I blogged yesterday, I somehow neglected to mention the highlight of my day. It was Rob's birthday (not THE Rob, but my friend Rob), so he, Pat, and I went and saw Freddy vs. Jason. I can hear you sniggering, but realize that I haven't been into horror movies since my slash flick phase when I was 12 or 13. However, I have seen just about every Friday the 13th and Nightmare On Elm Street movie ever made, and when we were kids, we always talked about what would happen if Freddy and Jason ever got in a fight, and who would win.

It's kind of the Godzilla vs. King Kong deal. We always knew it would be an interesting fight, at the very least. And who the winner would be was hotly contested. So even though I'm more into the psychological thrillers as opposed to a hack-and-slash film, I just knew I had to see this movie.

The movie itself was fairly predictable and honestly, it ranks nowhere near any of the best movies I've ever seen. The fight scenes between Freddy and Jason were pretty clever and visually interesting, though. I rather liked it when Jason picked Freddy up sideways, thrust him through a window and then proceeded to use Freddy's body to clear the walls of the other windows and things.

Honestly, the movie itself was not the highlight of the experience. The absolute highlight was when the three of us went and bought our tickets -- and got carded. Yes, we got carded to go see an R movie! I looked the guy straight in the eye, and laughing, I asked him if he was serious. He was. It was awesome.

We all laughed when the guy asked for our IDs, but neither Rob nor Pat laughed as hard as I did -- they're both 22 and 21, and I'll be 27 in November. I mean, I know I look young, but good Lord, I haven't been carded for an R movie since I was about 13 or 14! I don't know why it amuses me so much, but it really does. I suppose it's just the ridiculousness of carding a 27-year-old to go see a dumb movie. And good thing I thought to bring my ID. Heh.

I've now had all my classes and I'm looking forward to the rest of the semester. Math is so damn boring at this point, that yesterday during the lecture about addition and subtraction, I thought my brain was leaking out of my ears. I did get a nice sketch of a tree on the back of my notebook, though.

And before you call me a slacker, I've done three of my upcoming assignments already. Whole numbers, Addition, Subtraction, and Rounding Off and Estimating. As you can tell, the class really is incredibly challenging. I don't know how I'll manage.

I also realized yesterday that the library has an assload of videos and CDs that you can check out. This is a treat for me, because since I don't have a credit card or bank account, I can't get a membership card at Blockbuster or Hollywood. And since I have no cable or internet and only own about six movies, I've been dying for some entertainment.

You can check out five movies at a time, so I got all sorts. The libraries I've been to before usually only have videos of an educational nature, either documentaries or the huge productions like Ivanhoe and works of Shakespeare and such. Imagine my surprise when I was looking over the videos and found movies like My Big Fat Greek Wedding (which I'd wanted to see), The Blair Witch Project (I've seen it, but I did watch it last night with all the lights out -- not quite as scary as when I first saw it in the theater), Hope Floats, etc. I'm stoked, because it'll be a while before I check out and watch all the videos I'm interested in.

Anyhoo, I need to go rustle up an atlas so I can finish this map I was given today in Western Civ. I was about five minutes late, and apparently missed half the lecture. Try to figure that out.. it doesn't make any sense. But anyway, I have to fill in some missing countries.

Toodles!

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