Thursday, August 28, 2003


All right, well, I have some news that's exciting (at least for me). After I noticed the complete lack of improv curriculum at school, I began thinking about starting an improv troupe at school. Kind of like a club, but not official, just a bunch of students getting together to do some improv.

Well, it's been on my mind for a while, but I wasn't sure what to do about it. I started thinking about it last night when I was lying in bed, trying to work out the details and figure out how I could do it with the least amount of effort.

One of the obstacles I came across is finding a suitable place to meet and practice, since my apartment is small and has no furniture, so it's not like we could meet there. Last night I touched upon the idea of using the stage at school, not just for an occasional performance, but thought that that would be the perfect place for us to meet.

I wasn't sure whether the school would let an unofficial group of students use the theater, but there isn't a theater club or anything, and starting a club is a lot of work and a tremendous pain in the ass.

I rushed to school today because I was late, and came to find that my class was canceled. While I was there, I decided to ask about the stage. I got directed to the Humanities office, and after talking with a woman who didn't know anything (it was her second day), I was told I should talk to the head of the department.

The woman up front went into the office in the back and started talking to the woman in there in low tones, so I couldn't make out what they were saying. They talked for a couple of minutes, and I heard the director say, "Well, is it exciting?"

That kind of cracked me up, so I went in and pitched my idea to her. I got the impression that she's not someone who is easily impressed or excited about things, but I did manage to get her excited about my idea.

She acknowledged that getting a new club formed is an awful lot of work for someone who just wants to get people together to do some improv. Her suggestion was to resurrect Delta Psi Omega, the honorary dramatic society that exists already but has no members, and that hasn't been active in ages. Apparently there's no GPA requirement to be a part of Delta Psi Omega, even though it's a national honor society and actually has many members in other chapters.

She said that it would be much easier to 'let Delta Psi Omega rise from the ashes' than to start off anew and go through the rigamarole necessary to form a new club. I was quite pleased with how much she liked my idea and how enthusiastic she became about it.

The downside is that dues for the society are $20. However, I figure I can let people come and visit for a trial period to see if they think the cost is worth it, after all, it's a lifetime membership and as a national honor society, would look good on resumes and such.

The Humanities director has all sorts of ideas on how I/we can get the most out of Delta Psi Omega. Performances for theater classes, seniors, kids. She's even asked me to come talk at her theater appreciation class! I'm sure it will be work, but you know that when it's something you love and are passionate about, it's not really work.

So anyway, nothing concrete yet, but she called the Dean of Students today and requested all the paperwork on Delta Psi Omega; the constitution, bylaws, all of that. She got my phone number and asked me to stop by next week to check in.

Cool, eh? I'm stoked! Finally some *culture* here, even if I have to create it myself. ;)

Tuesday, August 26, 2003


Don't ask me, cause I just don't know. I actually haven't much to report, but since it's been a while since I last posted, I figured I would insert some random gibbergabber here just to let you all know I haven't fallen off the face of the earth.

School is school, and you know how it is when the semester is just beginning. You haven't had enough time to get into the meat of the subject. So yeah, I'm just going along, doing my homework, and stuff. I am proud to say that I've already learned lots of things, even new ways at approaching math that will definitely make things easier. I have to say, though.. we're into division now, and there was one problem that I couldn't do.

For one, I kind of suck at division. If they present the problem as numbers with the correct signs, usually I'm fine. I especially hate word problems because technical math terms like divisor and quotient and such tend to confuse me. I admit that I don't always know what number I'm supposed to divide into and stuff, because the math terms confuse me. "Divide 45 into 5" -- errrkay.. so which number goes on the outside of the line thinger? I'm not retarded, really, I just don't process math very well.

Plus they always give you extraneous information that isn't relevant to the problem, just to confuse you more. And damn it, I'm exceedingly easy to distract anyway, so that kind of crap just makes a difficult subject even harder for me. So yeah, there's some confusing-ass division word problem at the end of the section that I couldn't do. I did the problem like four different ways and couldn't come up with the number at the end of the book. Whatever.

I swear, too, I make THE DUMBEST mistakes in math. I'll not be fully concentrating and find myself adding figures in a multiplication problem, instead of, you know, multiplying them. I only catch it when I go to check my work and my answer is wrong. I suppose I really should check all my work afterwards, but I hate that, too, so I've always been the sort of person who just goes, Yay, I did the problem! Eh, if it's wrong, it's wrong.. But I'm done! Moving along...

Anyway, that's about it for now. Exciting, eh??

And no one commented on my "Wash Me" tirade? What's up with that? That was a masterpiece of a post!

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Wash Me, Please

I just finished school for the day, and on my way back into town, I got stuck behind this crap-ass jalopy of a van. On one of the dust-covered back windows, someone had written "WASH ME PLEASE". This got me thinking, and I had plenty of time to think, considering they were driving slow as hell.

Have you ever noticed that when someone writes "Wash Me" on the dust of a car, it never works? People will drive around with that on their cars until the rain makes it illegible. If you really want to get someone to wash their car, I have a few suggestions.

Instead of writing "Wash Me", since we know that doesn't work, how about some of the following?


You get the picture. But don't you think that would accomplish the goal of the car's owner rushing to scrub the writing off much better than the standard "Wash Me"? I would bet money on it.

When I blogged yesterday, I somehow neglected to mention the highlight of my day. It was Rob's birthday (not THE Rob, but my friend Rob), so he, Pat, and I went and saw Freddy vs. Jason. I can hear you sniggering, but realize that I haven't been into horror movies since my slash flick phase when I was 12 or 13. However, I have seen just about every Friday the 13th and Nightmare On Elm Street movie ever made, and when we were kids, we always talked about what would happen if Freddy and Jason ever got in a fight, and who would win.

It's kind of the Godzilla vs. King Kong deal. We always knew it would be an interesting fight, at the very least. And who the winner would be was hotly contested. So even though I'm more into the psychological thrillers as opposed to a hack-and-slash film, I just knew I had to see this movie.

The movie itself was fairly predictable and honestly, it ranks nowhere near any of the best movies I've ever seen. The fight scenes between Freddy and Jason were pretty clever and visually interesting, though. I rather liked it when Jason picked Freddy up sideways, thrust him through a window and then proceeded to use Freddy's body to clear the walls of the other windows and things.

Honestly, the movie itself was not the highlight of the experience. The absolute highlight was when the three of us went and bought our tickets -- and got carded. Yes, we got carded to go see an R movie! I looked the guy straight in the eye, and laughing, I asked him if he was serious. He was. It was awesome.

We all laughed when the guy asked for our IDs, but neither Rob nor Pat laughed as hard as I did -- they're both 22 and 21, and I'll be 27 in November. I mean, I know I look young, but good Lord, I haven't been carded for an R movie since I was about 13 or 14! I don't know why it amuses me so much, but it really does. I suppose it's just the ridiculousness of carding a 27-year-old to go see a dumb movie. And good thing I thought to bring my ID. Heh.

I've now had all my classes and I'm looking forward to the rest of the semester. Math is so damn boring at this point, that yesterday during the lecture about addition and subtraction, I thought my brain was leaking out of my ears. I did get a nice sketch of a tree on the back of my notebook, though.

And before you call me a slacker, I've done three of my upcoming assignments already. Whole numbers, Addition, Subtraction, and Rounding Off and Estimating. As you can tell, the class really is incredibly challenging. I don't know how I'll manage.

I also realized yesterday that the library has an assload of videos and CDs that you can check out. This is a treat for me, because since I don't have a credit card or bank account, I can't get a membership card at Blockbuster or Hollywood. And since I have no cable or internet and only own about six movies, I've been dying for some entertainment.

You can check out five movies at a time, so I got all sorts. The libraries I've been to before usually only have videos of an educational nature, either documentaries or the huge productions like Ivanhoe and works of Shakespeare and such. Imagine my surprise when I was looking over the videos and found movies like My Big Fat Greek Wedding (which I'd wanted to see), The Blair Witch Project (I've seen it, but I did watch it last night with all the lights out -- not quite as scary as when I first saw it in the theater), Hope Floats, etc. I'm stoked, because it'll be a while before I check out and watch all the videos I'm interested in.

Anyhoo, I need to go rustle up an atlas so I can finish this map I was given today in Western Civ. I was about five minutes late, and apparently missed half the lecture. Try to figure that out.. it doesn't make any sense. But anyway, I have to fill in some missing countries.


Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Brief Update

I suspect I'm about to get kicked off this computer for a computer class that the library is apparently holding. Who knew.

Ummmmm... let's see. School has started. Psychology looks to be both interesting and enjoyable. And guess what! Today in math, I learned how to add and subtract. That's going to be very useful at work, let me tell you.

I haven't had Western Civ yet, that comes tomorrow, but Kit said the teacher is awesome and that she almost majored in history because of him. There's no textbook, just some paperback novels. She said his lectures are full of great stories and such, and that sounds right up my alley. I can't wait.

Last Saturday I went out to True Colors with one of the gay boys at work. Saturday nights are stripper/drag queen night, and you know, maybe I'm not really as gay as the rest of the gay population, but West Virginian drag queens suck. And I guess it's somewhat fun to ogle mostly-naked men and their chiseled bodies, but seriously, as a lesbian, I can't say that really does much for me. Not that I'm into female strippers, mind you. If I wanted to watch chubby men in dresses and spangles lip-synching to bad 80's music, I could... well, I could go down to True Colors on Saturday night. I miss the big city drag queen shows. Now those are really something to watch.

In any case, I met a whole bunch of people while out with Mike. We met this guy named Marty who is a dancer from New York, who was here visiting in order to teach a ballet class. His class had just finished and had their recital, so he was out to party before having to leave the next day. I realized later that Mike didn't even know Marty (I'd thought they were friends, the way Marty came over and kind of glommed onto me).

Marty was hilarious. I spent a great portion of time doubled over with laughter.. he just said the most outrageous stuff. But not just outrageous stuff, stuff that actually meshed pretty well with my sense of humor. Mike said Marty's sense of humor is dry, and maybe that's why he and I got each other so well. By the end of the night, he and I were going to get married and have kids -- he even brought me a brochure entitled "How To Raise Kids Who Don't Smoke"; so that he and I could raise our kids without my filthy habit.

I was sorry to see Marty go, I want a friend like that around here!

And this girl named Nicki that I went on a blind date with last winter, and neither of us called each other afterward, is wandering around the library. This town is too damn small! I'm hiding my face behind a plant and hoping she doesn't see me.

Anyhoo, my chickens, I must go. More to come, as I'm able to report.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Lalalalalala.... I Can't Hear You...

I am really tired.. I hate morning shifts because I never get enough sleep the night before. Combine that with the $12 I made, total.. and you get an idea of just how fun work was.

Andre commented that he hasn't seen me this 'perky' and high on life since when I met Jan. I tried to explain that there really is no reason for me to be so happy; I just am. School is starting, I'm getting things accomplished now that I don't have any entertainment at home.. I feel pretty good about things in general. And I decided that if I can help it, I should make an effort to not be brought down by the stupid, rude, and cheap crap that I often get weighed down with. I'm feeling pretty stoked on myself for some reason, and I'm not about to let some dumb fucking hilljack take that away from me.

Speaking of feeling pretty stoked about myself.. A while back, maybe a month or so, I got my hair cut to almost all the same length. I usually wear barettes in it (and I swear it has got to be at least 15 years since I last wore barettes) to hold my bangs back and away from my face. I was loaded and heaped with compliments for days after I first got it cut; the lady who cut it did a good job, and my hair looks awesome for the first time in a year and a half.

I also finally got the Old Navy Online deal worked out. You have to understand that anything beyond having functional clothing is a luxury to me. If I have clothes in decent shape, even if they're limited in number and selection, I can't justify spending money I need for things like bills on new clothes. The clothes I have now have fit me over a vast range of weights and sizes. I still have clothes from when I was really fat, cause you never know when you'll need them again.. but I sure as hell hope I can eventually get rid of them.

In any case, most of my clothes are men's, and also were baggy on me when I was fat. Now that I'm thinner, they're super baggy on me and make me look way heavier than I really am. So in essence, I've been dying to get some clothes that actually show off my new figure.

Anyway, I had one tank top that my mom bought me a couple of years ago, and I've desperately been wanting more like it. The problem has been that I haven't been able to find a decent tank top that would look okay on me -- and minus the Satan-inspired creation of a shelf bra. I knew the tank tops had to come from Old Navy. So I mentioned to my mom that if she were going to be buying stuff from Old Navy during their summer sales, to get me a couple tank tops. This spurred my mom into offering to let me spend $100 at Old Navy Online, to get some tank tops and whatever else I need.

Well, I immediately did and I found all sorts of great stuff I wanted. Then Old Navy wouldn't process my mom's credit card because it's foreign and I wasn't the cardholder, and blah blah. My mom wouldn't call them and told me to simply try another one of her credit cards, this time with her address in Italy. Knowing well enough that that wouldn't work, I put it off until maybe a week or so ago, and I tried again.

By then, the tank tops I'd really, really wanted -- they were so awesome, like the normal wife-beater Old Navy tanks, but with leather lacings at the front -- were down to $3.99 and almost completely sold out. However, I did find some nice women's t-shirts that I thought I would give a try, as well as some differently colored tanks. I also took a long-shot and attempted to buy some women's jeans, though I honestly had no idea what size I wear now.

I originally was very excited to have more tank tops, but after ordering, I was even more excited about the women's t-shirts. And then it occurred to me that I finally would have the right shirt to go with my tan velvet/velour pants... the ones that look really good on me, but that I never had a shirt to wear with.

And sho' nuff, the tees look awesome on me, especially the black one, which I paired with my tan pants, a black leather belt, and some brown clunky dyke shoes. As an experiment, I blow-dried my hair, gussied myself up as much as I get, and headed out to True Colors, one of our two gay bars. My friend Chris was supposed to go out with me that night, but he never called me back, as much as I pestered him with messages.

I say it was an experiment, and I call it that because, for one, I really have never enjoyed going to bars alone, but I was definitely curious as to whether I was as hot as I thought. I was curious whether I'd get any sort of reaction, whether women would notice me at all, that sort of thing.

Within five minutes of walking in and sitting down by myself, I had a woman come up to me and start touching my back. She eventually put her arm around me. I was a little stunned, not because she was so incredibly drunk (and she was), but because that NEVER happens. Women don't approach me in bars. I was frankly a little flustered and embarrassed, but tried to play it cool and get it across that I wasn't interested. She eventually gave up and went back to her friends at the bar.

It happened to be karaoke night, so I was sitting there watching everyone and sort of enjoying the spectacle that is karaoke. Then another woman came up, asked if she could use my ashtray, and struck up a short conversation with me about nothing. The whole thing was turning out very interesting. I could get used to it!

I was going to bail after I finished my beer, but for some reason, I felt compelled to get another beer instead. There weren't many people in the bar, and I knew everyone would notice when I stood up and walked out. I felt self-conscious, but I also was kind of enjoying the humor factor of the karaoke. When I went to the bar, a guy from the table next to mine came up beside me to order something, and we said hi. We struck up a little conversation while we waited for our drinks, and he bought me my beer.

This was turning out better than I'd anticipated.

I helped him carry his four shots back to his table (he was seated with an older guy and two girls around my age), then went back to mine and sat down with my beer. I thought about asking them if I could join them, since it was pretty boring sitting by myself, but I couldn't seem to find the right opportunity, nor the guts to just get up and do it. Eventually, the guy who'd bought my drink turned around and said, "What are you doing there all by yourself? Come sit with us!"

So it turns out that I actually had a pretty good time. The people I sat with were very friendly and nice, and we had interesting conversations about all sorts of things. It came out that I work for Olive Garden and Darden, so we discussed that a bit. Everyone was trying to persuade me to try my hand at karaoke, and while I assured them that I could sing, I explained that I didn't do well with microphones, and that I generally tended to suck at karaoke.

The man who was DJing the karaoke kept bantering back and forth with this large, older woman holding court at a table nearby. At one point, I was surprised to find her behind me, and she asked me if I work at OG. I said I did, and she laughed and said I'd waited on them the last time. She made a small fuss over it, calling out to her son that I'd waited on them. At about that time, the son said he was doing the last karaoke song. I'd finally broken down and decided to sing I Will Survive, but they hadn't called my name yet.

I jokingly turned to the people at my table and commented, "Guess there'll be no singing for me tonight!"

And then the next thing I knew, everyone was shouting that I was a virgin and they HAD to let me sing. So Justin and I went up; he did backup for me. I think it might actually have been decently sung by me. I'm never entirely sure because I hate the sound of my voice coming through a machine, so it doesn't sound to me like it does when I'm just singing to myself.

No one booed, and it was fun to sing. ;)

I flirted with the girls at the table, but only one seemed relatively receptive. We danced, sorta, and then she beat me -- barely! -- at pool.

So yeah.. how's that for a Tuesday night, eh?

School starts on Monday, I can't wait.

Monday, August 11, 2003

I'm Not Fighting Insanity, I'm Loving Every Minute of It!

Well.. I got over what I was feeling when I last posted, for the most part. Sometimes I find it rather easy to push stuff out of my head, and this has fortunately been one of those times. I'm still a little angry about certain things, but for the most part, I'm beyond it, but still in Whatever mode and that's just fine with me. Hey, if it works, you know?

I have to say this no internet/TV thing is kind of working out for me. I mean, I'm bored as hell when I'm at home, and you'd be amazed what passes for entertainment when I find myself alone. I had to hook up my old Mac when my PC died, and since I've been bored, I've been poking around the hard drive. It's been a good while since I last used that Mac, and I was happily surprised to re-find a program called MacThuga (or something like that).

I'd totally forgotten I had this program, but it is one of the coolest things ever. It's a program with varying palettes and stuff that responds to sound (i.e. music), so you can sit and play a CD and watch the neat-o designs on the screen. Yeah, I know.. probably doesn't sound very interesting.. but as I said, you'd be amazed what passes for entertainment these days, and it actually is really cool. I think you kind of have to see it for yourself to understand.

I also have been going through my meager movie library and watching movies I haven't seen in years. I saw Fried Green Tomatoes last week. I absolutely love that movie, and since it's been so long since I last watched it, I had totally forgotten just how awesome it is. I tried to watch Pump Up the Volume but the tape has got to be 12 or more years old, and I haven't watched it in at least half that long. Apparently the tape is broken, and it got stuck in my VCR. So I got out the screwdriver and cracked open the VCR to try to get out the tape and salvage both tape and player.

At first I was just laughing and shaking my head, thinking, Yeah, well, of course the VCR would break. One of my few sources of entertainment. I mean, everything else has broken or been shut off, so I just figured this, too, would be added to the pile of electronic casualties in my life.

However, I did discover that the tape itself was screwed up, extracted it from the VCR.. popped the cover back on, and voila, working VCR. I feel so studly when I do stuff like that. It's not like I have any knowledge of the inner workings of a VCR.. or that I'd ever even seen the inside of one before.. but you know, I always feel like a big stud when I crack open some piece of equipment and "fix" it.

So I've been going through these two videotapes that I had no idea what was on them. The first tape was kind of boring; it had shows from 1999 on them (X-Files, Seinfeld, Working, Just Shoot Me, etc.), and every time a show would start and I would go, Oooooooh, this looks good, the show would cut off just as I was getting into it, and then be replaced by some other show. But the second tape is more promising. Someone, probably my mom, taped a Discovery Channel documentary on wooly mammoths and the hunt for their remains in Siberia. Pretty interesting, and that kept me busy until about 5am this morning.

School is pretty much a done deal. I went down to WVUP today, and went into the business office to ask about my mom paying for my tuition, from Italy, with a credit card. She's paid for other things this way in the past, but usually people give me a really hard time about it, and often they won't allow for things to paid that way. It was in my mind as a big problem that I didn't know how to solve, but the lady said it was no problem if my mom wanted to call and give her information to them. Right on.

I also went and looked at what books I need for my classes. Rose may have a book or two I can use, and that will definitely help me a lot. Thanks, Rose!

I peeked at my psychology book, and it looks very interesting. Could be a difficult class, it all depends on how the teacher does things. Western Civ is going to be confusing and hard, I think; there's no textbook, and Rose said that you have to sit up front with a tape recorder and not miss a day of class, in order to get a good grade. The books for that class are paperbacks, one of which is Animal Farm. It's a good book, but good grief, I read that years and years ago. I figured it was fairly standard reading for high school and colleges.

And boner math is boner math. That itself shouldn't be too much of a challenge.

So all in all, things are looking up in general. I had a financially fantastic week last week at work, and other than being harassed and verbally attacked by another employee all Friday night, things at work haven't been awful.

Happy joy.. but I'm afraid that there may be some other shoe somewhere that could drop at any time.

Friday, August 08, 2003


Whatever is my new motto. I think about how pissed off someone has made me, and I just shake my head and my conclusion is Whatever...

When I have to have, you know, a TALK with someone, invariably, they tell me things that I need time to absorb. In a big, serious conversation, I can't even tell you how I feel about things.. because I need time to walk away, be alone with my thoughts, and figure it out. I actually have to come back later and re-start the conversation once I figure out where I stand. I don't know why I do things this way, or whether it's normal. It's just like my brain gets overloaded with new ideas and stuff, and I go blank.

So I had this talk with Jan about things. At the time, I was in that same blank space and I told her I was fine. But then after I hung up, I went and really thought about the conversation. And I'm not fine. I'm actually pretty pissed off.

I've refrained from posting here about Jan because she used to read my site. She doesn't read it much anymore, so here's where we get into the Whatever part. If she reads it, whatever. If she doesn't, whatever. I don't fucking care.

For one, I feel underappreciated. I always seem to come out underappreciated, no matter what I do. And I don't understand this because frankly, I think I'm a pretty awesome person with a lot to offer. And if you want to know the truth, I think I'm a damn good girlfriend. So why is it no one ever recognizes this?

Why the hell is nothing ever easy in my life?

And then, nurturing my anger and bitterness, I went outside and prayed for a while. I haven't done that a while, just the moon and me. One of the things I asked was why everything in my life has to be so damn hard. Why I can't ever have anything come to me easily.

I asked for a sign; that I'm on the right track, that things are fine, that this is the way things are meant to be.

This is the sign I got.. my cable got turned off, which spurred me into making the call I'd been dreading -- to my mom. That lead to me getting registered for school. Then I found a FREE working vacuum cleaner. And though it doesn't really hold any deep meaning, I found a penny on top of my monitor. I have absolutely no idea how the penny got there, whether I put it there -- or why I would, in the first place.

I keep trying to be happy about things in my life, keep trying to be stable, to get through all the hard stuff.. and I feel like I just keep getting shot down. I was excited about school until I came to the library today to check my email and found a semi-snarky note from my mom, telling me how she doesn't know how I expect her to pay for school and getting the money exchanged means she loses 20% and blah blah blah. Yeah, so much for being all sure and happy about school.


Bitter, angry me. Oh yeah. Happy joy.

Wednesday, August 06, 2003


Yeah, so they finally caught up with me and shut my cable off. No TV, no internet... I don't know what I'll do for entertainment, but as my mom said to me yesterday on the phone, maybe it's a good thing, because now I have nothing to keep me in the house, so maybe I'll actually get off my ass and do stuff. And can I say thank heavens for the library and free internet access?

So the stuff I've done.. I went to school and got all registered for next semester -- classes start really soon! I'm so excited. I was so worried about not having financial aid by the time tuition is due, but I got all lectured up yesterday by my mom, and she told me to get my ass down to the school and she'll front me the money for everything, until the financial aid check came.

Nothing like crying to your mom about what a mess your life is, while she yells at you about all the things you already know you're doing wrong.

The classes I'm taking are Arithmetic (yes, basically I'm in remedial math), Intro to Psychology, and Western Civilization from The Reformation. Psych should be fun, I love that kind of stuff. The history could be really dry, just depends on the teacher.. maybe they'll make it fun. And Arithmetic.. yay, I get to learn to add and subtract again!

But boy oh boy, I'm one step closer to leaving this horrendous state! Go me!

P.S. You'll probably note that most of my image links are broken.. this is due to the fact that I had my images stored on my Charter webspace. The pics will be back whenever I'm able to pay my huge cable bill. I'm this close to selling my plasma.

Sunday, August 03, 2003


I had to alter the code for the site and I removed the message boards, as I now have comment spaces that serve a purpose more like what I'd originally wanted. Comment away!


Man.. I am so glad I have the next few days off. Today was absolute hell at work. Well, Sunday day shifts are already synonomous with hell, but things were just so much worse than usual today.

It was Rose's birthday, and I've found that when you work at a restaurant on your birthday, you're way more likely than not to have a phenomenally shitty day. I don't know exactly why this is, but it's kind of like a cruel Murphy's Law.

And then it was like every single person had their own individual dramas going on. The odd thing was, I was in a pretty decent mood, and other than getting slammed frequently and then spilling peach sangria all down my front, I stayed pretty above all the crap I tend to get mired down in. So I got to sort of observe the madness around me all day.

I was in smoking, and on a Sunday, it's usually more of a blessing rather than the usual curse. For one, you get way less of the church crowd, and you also generally get to stand around and drink coffee for an hour before you get your first table. Considering I'm about half-awake when I get to work in the morning, I appreciate this time to wake up. It also provides me time to watch everyone else around me get slammed and gloat to myself because I get to ease into my shift.

The downside of this is that once the smokers start to roll in, they don't stop. In fact, smoking gets busiest right when non-smoking becomes dead. So my roommate and I did eventually become pretty busy.

Everyone was hung over, for one. Add then the stress and frustration of a practically tip-free shift full of rude and ungrateful people. My roommate broke down crying, twice. I therefore landed all the big parties that sat in our room. Then there was the mystery of a missing kid's pizza, and the question of who stole it. We were frequently out of bread during the busiest times. Then everything came to a head when Rose and Gara went at it in the alley.

Once things got started, I just kind of ran my ass off. It was looking like I wouldn't get out of there until 5:30, and I was just so desperate to get out and be done with it. It was just such a totally stressful and hellish day all around; and I am just so absolutely grateful that my week ends with Sunday, so that I have a few days to recover. By the end of the week, I'm filled with a culmination of all the bitterness and hatred I've felt toward most of our customers all week; Sunday day shifts are just the cherry that tops it all off.

On a related note, I've been watching that reality show The Restaurant. I rather like the idea of this show; for one, I'm hoping it shows people what working in service is really like. It's not easy, and it's not pretty. And there is never any lack of drama in a restaurant.

I just have to say that Rocco, the chef/owner, and his management team, are complete pricks. Rocco and Laurent are by far two of the most pompous, self-important people I've ever seen. It blows my mind.. and I'm just waiting for the staff to organize a walk-out.

And finally, no more pop-ups. :D

Saturday, August 02, 2003


Someone got me turned on to Friendster a while back, and since it was down the last I'd checked, I sort of forgot about it. Well, I got an email today from Friendster, totally out of the blue, from my friend Amy, asking to be added to my friends list.

Amy is someone I've known since 3rd grade.. we were best friends for years, and then during high school we drifted apart. After that, I really had no idea what she was doing, and we haven't talked in something like 10 years. I'm way stoked that we've made contact again.. now I just have to find my friend Kim.

Some random blog filler:

Name: Alena Jennifer D.
Were you named after anyone? In a roundabout way, yes. Up until my birth, my name was going to be Carrie (my mom was certain she was having a girl). Then, at the last moment, they came up with "Alena", because my mom wanted something like Eleanor, her mother's name.
Do you wish on stars? Yep. Sure can't hurt.
When did you last cry? A week or two ago.
Do you like your handwriting? Generally, yes.
Any bad habits? Yeah, my life is a bad habit. Smoking, being too lazy, etc.
What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? Well, I was going to confess that I own a Milli Vanilli CD, but I don't seem to have it anymore. I guess the next most embarassing would be The Little Mermaid soundtrack.
If you were another person, would you be friends with you? I'm not sure. I find myself pretty funny, but I do have quite a few qualities I would find annoying.
Are you a daredevil? Not really.
Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Ever? Yes. Recently, in the past 5+ years? No.
Do looks matter? To others, apparently. To me, not really.. it's way more important to have a beautiful personality.
Have you ever misused a word and it sounded completely stupid? Yeah, but I find that kind of thing pretty funny. I like making up my own words, too.
Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? No.
Do fish have feelings? Everything has feelings in some range or another, but I doubt fish have complex emotions.
Are you trendy? Hell no.
How do you release anger? Swearing, slamming things, writing, talking about it.
Where is your second home? In the woods.
What was your favorite toy as a child? Definitely my first, much-coveted Cabbage Patch Kid. I took her everywhere and pretty much got more use out of that doll than my mom paid for.
What class in school do you think is totally useless? Any math beyond algebra, unless you're going into a career that will utilize it.
Have you ever been on radio or television? Yes, both. I've been on the news a couple of times, once in the background (when New Kids on the Block came to my Jr. High) and once in San Francisco, being interviewed about a movie I'd just seen. I felt like a minor celebrity after that, people actually commented on seeing me. As for radio, I did a pirate radio show in Santa Cruz as well as a commercial for a legitimate station.
Do you have a journal? Yep, this one, and my book journal. I have something like 6 full journals and one I'm working on now.
Do you use sarcasm a lot? Who, me? Nawwww.. (Get it? That was sarcasm.)
Have you ever been in a mosh pit? Ugh, no. I have unfortunately been on the edge of many a mosh pit, though.
What are your nicknames? Bill calls me 'Ween' or 'Weenie'. I've also gone by 'Lanie' or 'Allie'. A few people at work call me Alena Jo, because our food tickets print out with our middle and last initials (Alena JD).
Would you bungee jump? Maybe. I really don't know if I'd be able to actually make the jump.. I'm crazy scared of that kind of thing.
Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope.
What are you worried about right now? Money, mostly. And pretty much everything else in my life.
Do you ever wear overalls? No.. I look really awful in them.
Do you think that you are strong? Physically, I think I hold my own. Mentally, not as strong as I'd like.. but stronger than I have ever been.
What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby. And I've been kind of craving bing cherry gelato from Perche No in S.F.
What are your favorite colors? Blue and green.. particularly the deep, intenser shades.. and any mixture of the two.
What is your least favorite thing in the world? Work. Ignorance, bigotry.
How many wisdom teeth do you have? None.. I had all four yanked at once.
Are you in love with anyone? Nope.
How many people have a crush on you right now? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say probably not that many.
Who do you miss most right now? Jan.

Friday, August 01, 2003

Fresh Start

All right.. July is over and done. I hope the screen door smashed it in the head on its way out.

As I have said in the past, Tristan Taormino is absofuckinglutely hot. Imagine my surprise while idly channel surfing through awful soap opera acting, when I stumbled upon Tristan on Ricki Lake!

My surprise was twofold -- it was the first I'd ever seen Tristan on a talkshow, plus Ricki Lake of all shows!? If you have never watched Ricki Lake, you should understand that the audience has what I'd call a Junior High School mentality. Tristan, the sex guru, is totally open and comfortable talking about sex. But it was like being in an assembly of teenagers, the way the audience was tittering. Kind of amusing and embarrassing at the same time.

Tristan is foremost an anal sex guru, so I was anticipating that the subject would come up. One woman came on the show to say that her husband had become obsessed with anal sex ever since they first tried it, and the woman wanted him to realize she didn't only want that kind of sex. Only they never actually said 'anal sex', they kept calling it 'an alternative form of sex' or 'another kind of sex'. I watched the entire episode glued to Tristan's face; I really was dying to know what was going through her mind.

Another thing that was really funny is that they brought all these people out to talk to Tristan and some other guy who is apparently also a sex guru, yet they spent like two minutes total on 'resolving' each problem. We'll use the term 'resolving' loosely, as the topic was briefly discussed, usually no conclusion drawn, and then they would go to commercial.

Another highlight of the show was Tristan taking this uptight young housewife into Babes in Toyland and instructing her to find a dildo that was the size of her husband's penis. Inside the store, Tristan commented, "I heard he was the size of a Coke can?" (Apparently her husband is hung and sex is uncomfortable for her.)

I also wondered if anyone on the show knew or realized that Tristan is a lesbian. And then I thought it would be super-fun to see Tristan and Oprah together.

On other fronts, work has been a bit better than usual. Half the tips are still crappy, but at least they're not all crappy. My first table left me a $42 tip, on a $120 bill, but I think that was a mistake. I think the lady probably didn't realize the gratuity had been added to the check. However, they left before I could say anything, but I still feel a bit guilty about it.

My last table was a party of 10 wiseass teenagers. I hate wiseass teenagers, but generally I deal with them pretty well, because I, too, am a wiseass and I give it back just as good as I get it. And because they're teenagers, I don't care about being snarky back at them.

What made me mad is 3 of them didn't order anything, and the manager told me I couldn't grat the table. Little fuckers left me $4. Not even 10%. I had a bit of fun at their expense, though, so I guess it evens out.

I'd tell that story, but it'd make me look like even more of a jackass than I already do.

However, I am proud to report that I had my one-year anniversary at OG and got a spiffy one-year pin. This is officially the longest job I've ever held. Actually, it was officially the longest two months ago, but whatever. It's not that I get fired.. in fact, I've never been fired from a job, other than from my GameMaster position. And while that probably says wonders about me in all sorts of ways, I'll just move on and state that I usually get so fed up of jobs, I quit within a year.

The only reason I've been at OG for so long is that there's nothing else for me to do here. In fact, I did technically quit last November, but then Charter ended up not hiring me because I left something blank on the application by accident. So yeah. A year. And more to look forward to.

Killmekillmekillmekillme. :P