Tuesday, July 01, 2003


Well, I've been feeling pretty writer's-blocked lately, which is why my entries have been kind of random. I'm still not able to write about what I want to write about, but I think I've given up on trying to analyze everything to the nth degree. Which is good.. doing that is quite tiring. So basically, the plan is wait and see, since the feelings I can label, I'm not able to really process now anyway; I just sort of have to be patient and see what happens.

What I do know is that I already miss Jan and it sucks that we live so far apart (though as I said in a previous post, I think that, too, is for a reason). I burned her a CD and sent it yesterday... I'm definitely nervous to have that out there, to not know how she'll take it, and to have to wait a week or so for it to get there. I can be really impatient sometimes and snail mail is one of the more frustrating things, especially when I'm used to the instant gratification of emails.

I just keep telling myself it will work out, no matter what happens. Whatever is supposed to happen will happen. I suddenly find myself with way too much free time and desperately needing something to do to help me stop thinking. It's not even really that I consciously think about things; it will all of a sudden sneak up on me, whether a song reminds me of something, or a commercial, or whatever. It'll hit me, I struggle with it for a minute, and then try to push it aside again.

I'm tired of thinking. And I'm trying to work on patience.

I do have to mention some recent visitors and their searches because, well, it makes me shake my head. Some Canadian person visited my site 14 times, repeatedly, from the same search: "Kiro 7" & "streaker". 14 times? And then it's good to see that if someone is "nauseous after i eat", they can come to my site for some relief.

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