Monday, July 28, 2003

Just Make It Stop!


I have been incredibly pissed off about my computer dying; so much so that I have refused to do just about anything on this computer. Actually, I can't do half of the things I normally do, anyway, on this old-ass computer. I don't want to curse it too much, in case it, too, decides to break down and fuck me over.

Well, any and all good luck I was reaping and crowing over in June -- gone. Gone, gone, gone. I am so totally broke in general and more things just keep piling on top of everything else. I keep waiting for it to stop; keep thinking it must, yet it just doesn't. I keep praying for a miracle, having completely surrendered to my bad luck and general fucked-ness, thinking, hoping, that if I trust in the universe to provide for me, it will.

Work is downright awful these days. I can't remember the last time I had a good, easy shift and left with decent money in my pocket. It seems like every facet of my life is determined to be as difficult as possible. I absolutely love how everything decided to turn to shit all at once. I could handle one or two bad things at a time, you know, but currently I'm pretty much drowning in heaps of woe.

I may not make it into school this semester, as I really wanted to. I spaced out on financial aid stuff and then a couple weeks ago, all of a sudden realized just how close the start of the next semester is. The financial aid office told me I wouldn't have the money by the start of school. I have no idea what I'm going to do about that.

I am totally and completely overwhelmed. I'm miserable. I'm frustrated. I'm desperate for just ONE good thing to happen. I'm even considering going and selling plasma just so I have money to pay my bills.

Fun, eh?

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