Sunday, May 18, 2003

I swear to god, every time I visit this blog, my archives are in a different place. I have no idea what the issue is with the archives, why they don't work the way they're supposed to, and why they wander around the page. Perhaps I will never know.

I am not crazy, but I believe there are invisible elves that take things from you from time to time. Have you ever been looking for something and been completely unable to find it, even though you might remember vividly where you last had the item or even where you put it? And even though you tear the house and car apart, you still can't find it, and eventually give up in frustration, only to later have the searched-for item turn up in a completely conspicuous place where you couldn't possibly have overlooked it when you were searching?

If you have experienced this, then you are familiar with the invisible elves. I haven't figured out why they take things or what they do with them, I am only grateful when they return them, so I can stop worrying. For example, I did laundry last week. When it came time to put away my socks, one of my black work socks, as well as another of my favorite pairs of socks, were missing. I use a public laundromat and usually quadruple-check my washers and dryers to be sure I haven't left behind a sock, but last week, I forgot to look for any straggling socks.

So I figured I'd left my socks in either the washer or dryer, because I really didn't have a match for either. I didn't go digging through my drawer or anything, but the socks I use most are up front and on top. There also was no reason for two half-pairs of socks to be in my drawer.. my black socks are all full pairs, as was the sock I was missing. But because I'm an optimist and a packrat, I set both socks on top of my dresser in hope that I would find their matches.

I promptly forgot about the socks.. until this afternoon when I was getting ready for work. I reached into my drawer to get black socks, and pulled out a lone black sock -- the match to the one on the dresser. Then I looked over to the other side of the drawer and found the missing match to the other sock! You can't tell me that's not weird. BOTH missing socks turning up on top of all the other socks in the drawer? And finding both matches at the same time? Think about this.. I didn't put anything into my sock drawer after I returned from doing laundry and sorted and put everything away. That was the day I put the matchless socks on the dresser. So where the hell did the missing socks come from??

I am entirely convinced that there are mischievous elves that like borrowing things. I can't think of any other explanation.

On the homefront, I woke up yesterday to computer problems. As I said in a previous post, I love WinMX. I go on downloading binges.. mostly because the program is totally addicting for me and I literally have to tear myself away and turn the program off. What I really need is a separate hard drive for my music, then I wouldn't feel so guilty about how much space I'm taking up on my PC with all this music. I have a 27 gig hard drive and 9.27GB of MP3s. It's an addiction. I'm a sick, sick person. And really, I can stop any time.

So yeah, I was on a downloading binge and left the 'puter on overnight so I could keep downloading. I'd put it in standby when I went to bed and when I woke up, I couldn't get the computer to wake up out of standby mode. I eventually just hard restarted, and when everything got loaded, I wasn't connected to the net. No email, web, or AIM.. and I couldn't figure out what the issue was. I reset the cable modem a few times, checked all connections, yadda yadda. I finally gave in and called Charter tech support and the stupid first-tier guy tried to help me.. I knew right away he was going to have to refer me to someone and I could have saved him time by telling him that, but he put me through this whole rigamarole of things I'd already tried before I called.. and then finally sent me to tech support.

Well, the tech support guy was really nice, trying to figure this out with me. He finally asked if the lights on my ethernet card were blinking, and when I checked, they weren't. Bad sign. He basically signed the death certificate on my ethernet card and told me I needed a new one. Fortunately, I had a decent ethernet card in my Mac that is PC compatible, so I cracked open both computers and swapped out cards. And obviously here I am, good to go. I didn't even need to download any drivers or anything.. it all worked perfectly.

And I must say I do feel like such a stud when I fix things on my own. It's the guy in me, what can I say. There is little that is more satisfying than doing something for yourself, especially if it's complicated. Installing things, changing oil, mowing the lawn, etc. I love that. In a past relationship, I laid down that I am Master of the Tools. Me, my drill, and my toolbox. Course, she somehow ended up with my bitchin' drill, and I must say I miss it greatly. If you don't have a drill, you need one -- it has many uses and it is very, very handy.

I think one of the best 'handyman' memories I have is when I was living with my ex and this guy named Dave who she would screw around with. Dave is probably the biggest pussy I have ever met, and I would bet money that I am more man than he is. I don't just flaunt the title of pussy, either.. he really has no backbone and is just wimpy in general. In any case, he'd brought some stuff from his parents' house to put up shelves in the laundry room. Now, we're talking super-easy shelves here.. where you get two or three metal strips to support the shelves, use a level to get them straight, drill them into the wall, stick the shelf supports on the metal strips, then put on the shelf. Takes about ten minutes, max.

Well, he kept saying he was going to put them up, and the stuff just sat in the laundry room. I finally got tired of looking at it and relished the opportunity to one-up him, so I grabbed my drill and level and installed the shelves. I put all the laundry stuff on them and made it look normal and as if they'd always been there... and then I didn't say a word. My ex's reaction was great and I got to prove I was manlier than Dave. Brilliant.

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