Saturday, May 03, 2003


I really have nothing to say, so I'm going to just blabber for a bit because I haven't posted anything in a while. I've been lax. And do I care that no one is reading this and essentially I'm talking to myself? Not really!

I have to say I am really sick as hell of being a waitress. It's not any one big thing, either, the job itself I like.. it's just the little things that are really starting to get to me. On top of it, I really just can't stand most of the people I wait on. I know that's really bad, when 2/3 of my tables make me cringe when I see them sit down. I really like serving, and I like the people I work with. It's actually a fairly fun job that is also challenging, which helps keep me interested. I just have this wee bitty superiority complex when it comes to the people I wait on.

When the trailer park pours out and fills up our smoking section, and they're all being demanding and crass and rude, and running your ass off.. and you just know the welfare check just got in and they're going to leave you $2 on a $90 check... I just look at these people and know that in pretty much every way, I am better than them. I'm smarter, and I bet I sure as hell am way more well-traveled. I just shake my head. I have issues with people being rude to me and treating me like a personal servant and then tipping me like shit, when I know I am better than they are.

I'm just really over it, and I am over people in general. I hate dealing with people's stupid crap all day long. I don't care if you don't want olives in your salad. Or that you don't want a lemon in your water or tea. Pick the damn things out. I don't care about anything, really, and the fact that no matter how nice and accomodating I am with people, my tips never reflect my efforts. It honestly, truly, makes absolutely no difference what attitude I have with my tables. I have been testing this out. I usually start a shift off fresh and with some energy, and thus tend to be very nice and understanding. As the night wears on, and all my niceness has proved fruitless, I start getting tired and bitter. The more trailer trash and hillbillies I wait on, the more bitter I get. And yeah, my service reflects it to a degree. Occasionally I will ride the line with a comment or something bordering on rude, but generally I just act very detached instead.

You would think the people I'm extremely nice and helpful to would tip according to the level of service, right? Bzzzt. Wrong. I make fairly steadily the same amount, no matter what time of my shift it is. Nice or bitter, people tip me crap. So where the hell is my incentive to be nice to people? Man, I could just walk around bitter and rude all the time and my tips wouldn't even suffer.

We have this bartender named Mike, who is at the same time both amusing and infuriating. This guy is a complete know-it-all, pompous ass. He is the expert authority on everything, and god forbid you try to show you might know a bit more about something than he does! He has also taken to picking on me, doing things like shooting ice at me, throwing things at me, etc. I want to ignore him, but he keeps starting crap with me!

One of the more amusing things.. one day when he was cashing me out, we somehow got on the topic of pleasing a woman. I am pretty confident that I, as a lesbian, am more adept at pleasing women than most men. I admit that some men are good at it, but I think I would beat out most guys in a muff-diving contest. In any case, he started telling me I didn't know shit about pleasing women, and how being good in bed isn't something you know, it's something you learn.

Now, I'm not trying to be conceited or anything, but I am a Scorpio and sex has always come very natural to me. I started being sexual at a very young age, and everything after that was a mixture of exploration and basically already knowing what would feel good and what to do. Once I started reading erotica, especially lesbian erotica, researching sexual toys, and doing some physical exploration, I had a ready set of tools at my disposal, coming from the mixture of learned and innate knowledge.

I told Mike I disagreed with him, because I'm a natural with sex. He then went on to try and smack me down, saying unless I'd taken a class and learned the proper ways to touch a woman and blah blah.. Apparently, there are 52 erogenous zones and they have to be touched in the correct sequence to turn the woman on.. hey.. kind of like punching in the correct code to open the vault..

I just thought that was really funny. The 52 places to touch a woman and the correct sequence. What a load of crap -- I have no idea what the hell he's talking about, but what I'm doing has worked quite well for me in the past, thanks!

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