Thursday, April 17, 2003


Not much has been happening since I've had the past few days off. Haven't been feeling very well and have been totally unmotivated to do the weekly stuff I have to do on my days off, though I did drag myself to Wal-Mart yesterday.

By the way, let me use this opportunity to sing the praises of Pantene Smooth and Sleek, perhaps the finest shampoo and conditioner ever to hit the market. My hair is both fine and very thick, which leads to afro-head because it tends to get frizzy. I am lazy and low-maintenance, so I only air-dry my hair, and regular shampoo is no help whatsoever. Pantene Smooth and sleek makes my hair very soft and seems to weigh it down some, so it lays much flatter and calmer than usual. I highly recommend it to anyone who has hair that won't behave.

Anyway. Kit and I are supposed to meet tomorrow to talk about things and catch up. The way she was in her last email made it seem like she thinks this will not be the end, so that's interesting. I don't know how I'll feel when we actually talk, since I have no idea what I think about this anymore. I honestly am just sick as hell of dealing with it and really don't care anymore.

Plus I really am not good one-on-one like that.. I'm much better writing out my thoughts and feelings. When I'm talking to certain people (Kit and my mom are two of them) seriously, it's like I get bombarded by their new ideas and my brain goes nuts trying to process all the new information. And then I get distracted from what I want to say. Or if the conversation gets off on a tangent, I'll forget what I needed to say and it'll never get said. So I feel like I'm going in on her turf, since she's much better at these kinds of talks than I am.

The weather has been very warm, I even had my a/c on for a bit yesterday when I couldn't stand the heat anymore. My apartment has a bunch of windows, but only three have screens on them, so it's hard to get a crossbreeze going. I really wish I had a screen on my bedroom window. I'm not looking forward to summer because I hate the heat and humidity and I know my electric bills are going to skyrocket once I use the damn window unit all the time.

I also have been hallucinating bugs all night long. Like I keep thinking I'm seeing a cockroach moving out of the corner of my eye, but there's really nothing there. See, I don't have cockroaches, so they're not a daily occurrence. But they come to visit from time to time, and I get surprised every time, so I guess now I'm just anticipating it. It's so gross. I want to tell the landlord to get an exterminator!! I'm afraid, though, if I do tell him, that he won't do anything about it. He's like 80 years old and crochety as hell, and I prefer to avoid dealing with him. But the cockroaches have to go. It's really gross.

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